I was 15, he was 21, but was this SA?
Hi all I have never spoken about this because it happened in 2001, which was a different time. I was 15 and he was 21, he was my boyfriend. Nobody even questioned it at the time or thought it was not okay. So though what happened was upsetting and not ok I never questioned it.
But recently I opened up about it and was informed that at the time, this was still illegal, even if it happened in 2001. We were never fully intimate but we did some other things that I was not comfortable with and at the time made it clear I didn't want to do but he carried on. After I sat beside his bed with my head in my hands and he said sorry. I was a very traumatised 15yo as it was and I was swept away in the first guy who showed interest in me because I always thought I was worthless and unattractive. Who I told said that regardless if I even had "consented" I legally could not have, and he was committing a criminal offence with a child.
Now, I mean I KNOW full well that this is no way okay. But why is my brain telling me that because it was 2001 and everyone let it slide, that somehow then, it was acceptable? Was it? Or was this a criminal offence? Was this sexual abuse?
I am only just now coming to terms with my childhood trauma and how much worse it was than I let myself believe. I am seeking further therapy. I think I have complex trauma that I have always explained away or downplayed which is apparently a defensive mechanism?
I just want to know from others experience because why did nobody at that time bat an eyelid? Did he even know it was an offence? I'm so confused. And is the R-word only for all the way, or for other things sexually you don't agree to? I am very new to this bc I never considered myself to have experienced SA before? I even got left with him when I was 15 bc my parent had to take my sibling somewhere, and that wasn't even seen as an issue either?
EDIT: Happened in the UK. I tracked the timeline back properly and I'm pretty sure I was 14 and he was either just turning 20 or just turned. I dunno what to do with this information or how I've held it in my head so long as not what it actually was.