u/Formerlymoody

I tend to attract people who talk WAY too much. I’m quieter myself, but not shy and like to converse. I’m aware I tend to attract mega talkers and actively look for people capable of more balanced conversation. I’m referring to a very old friend in this story.

I went to a party on the weekend with a friend who talked so much that it clearly made people uncomfortable and sort of changed the whole dynamic.

She will also talk my ear off in a way that is just overwhelming and ends up stressing me out. She lives with family members on the spectrum and I think she’s just “getting it all out” but it is WAY too much for me. It would be for anyone. She’s a very kind and smart person otherwise so i don’t get how she can be so “inconsiderate.”

How are you not aware you’re taking up way too much space? Can you stop? Would you like it if someone told you nicely to give someone else a chance to talk?

I just don’t understand how people aren’t aware of what they are doing and making people uncomfortable. Mega talkers, weigh in!

I'm sure he's been mentioned here before, but give Mon Rovia a listen, if you haven't. Transracial and transnational adoptee. One of us!

His latest album Bloodline is really good. I put it on when I needed something to drown out the sound of my APs watching Fox News. Lol

Anyway, his music is very soothing and could appeal to many people, and the lyrics deal with themes you will recognize as an adoptee.

Disclaimer: not all adoptees. If this doesn’t speak to you, know I’m not speaking about you.

For reasons, I am spending an extraordinary amount of time with my APs this summer. it’s been a few years since I left the FOG and i have a certain clarity I never had before. I also am spending some time with bio family so the contrast is very present.

I recently read a memoir by a musician I’ve always adored that revealed that she was horribly neglected as a child by teenage parents who did not want her.

Ive always loved her and her music and felt very connected to her. It seems like we inhabited very similar emotional realities, even though most people would classify our experiences as “opposite.” I was “saved” from her fate (my parents weren’t teenagers and I don’t think I was at risk of neglect, especially within my extended family but most people would see it that way).

It got me thinking. My APs are complicated: we have zero in common, they are pretty emotionally immature, but you can’t argue that they were totally “unloving.”

Y’all, I experienced their love as neglect, apparently. I’ve known this for a while but this book brought it home.

It is possible to be loved in adoption and still feel neglected. I assume because it’s not your actual parents doing the loving.

It’s like neglect from a distance.

Just my thoughts about it after reading about the lived experience of a bonafide neglected, unwanted child who was raised by their birth parents.

Hi!

I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly here. maybe looking for insight and people that can relate.

I was in a BSE style closed adoption in the early 80s. I found out TODAY the extent to which the entire maternal side of my family was against adopting me out. I always thought at least my bio grandfather (grandma was dead) was pushing the idea (he was an old school Catholic). Turns out, he did not approve of me being adopted out. in b mom‘s words there were several family members who were „furious„ at her.

I did not have the heart in the moment to ask her why the hell she did it anyway. She started crying, of course, funny how I can stay dry eyed…maybe after i digest more I’ll ask her. But W. T. F?

It seems like my b dad‘s side would have never supported it, either, but he didn’t tell them.

Am I the world‘s most improbable adoptee, or what? B mom did have a trauma history but a career and money…

Hi all,

I posted before about how many practicum opportunities that were coming up for me were faith-based. I got a lot of good advice and have just started at a faith based organization that I thought would be fine. Full disclosure, for many reasons I couldn't afford to be picky. I grew up Christian and the culture isn't too foreign for me, even if I don't share the belief system.

During the interview process, they never asked a single question about my values nor did I communicate in a way that suggested I was a Christian.

I started two days ago. I thought everything was fine and was gratified to learn they do not discriminate against queer/trans clients (young adult population). So far, so good.

As part of my orientation, I've been reading all the organization's materials. Trying to not be too identifying, but it turns out they do discriminate in who they partner with. They are also pro-life, which makes me very uncomfortable. I did have to dig pretty deep into the materials to find this info.

Everything has started off so great and my supervisor has talked about me working for them eventually. Unfortunately, there is no way in hell I will ever call a queer couple and tell them they don't qualify for a program. This is how they suggest handling inquiries from queer people. It is SUCH bullshit to me that what is ok for the client population is not ok for partners in a position of relative privilege/power. Literally gross.

I feel slightly ill and am very disappointed. It's mostly a great organization but this is a deal breaker for me. This is obviously kind of a vent and a bid for similar stories but I also have one question:

Would you tell them? When?

I'm planning on letting them know in the exit interview why I can't work with them in the future. I hate staying silent for so long! But I really need the position/reference. I have some hope that my immediate supervisor won't hold this against me. She has made some very inclusive statements, but is obviously still willing to work for them.

I won't make this mistake again because this sucks so bad...

Which bio family members?

How did it go?

Not considering it currently but I might in the long run...near bio sibs to be exact. I would never move for just b parents given the...history.

Hello my lovely fellow social work students! I am offering my used textbooks free to a good home. I will not be charging for shipping, just know that I am shipping from Europe so it might take a minute. I would prefer someone to take all but would consider dividing into two shipments. More or less first come, first serve? Write a comment claiming which classes' books you need and I will DM you.

No APA formatting for references! It's my first day of vacation and I am OVER it! Lol

SW 521:

Social Economic and Environmental Justice. Benner, Loeffler and Pope. 2022

SW 625:

The Helping Professional's Guide to Ethics. Bryan, Sanders and Kaplan. 2nd Ed. 2022

SW 630:

Social Welfare Policy and Programs. Segal. 4th Ed. 2020

SW 636:

Social Work Skills for Community Practice. Brown, Stalker. 2nd Ed. 2023.

Five Life Stages of Nonprofit Organizations. Sharken Simon, Donovan. 2001