u/Forward-Emu1658

hello so me and my bf had an argument with my best friend and her bf and idk what to do.

for story sake im gunna call my best friend M and her bf J

we were all at a party, my partner was sober , J and M had been drinking , and i had taken shrooms.
according to my bf J had been gossiping to him about stuff to do with me and a friend of mine who i’ve slept with ( years and years ago, pre bf ) , me and him are really good friends to this day , and up until J had spoken to my bf , he didn’t have an issue with me being friends with him.

the night ends , we all go home , and my bf leaves the next day and doesn’t come back until M and J are gone. when i get home my bf is on the sofa and “needs to talk” oh god
he then told me that J had been telling him lots of details about me and this friend of mine , and then had claimed that all this stuff happened only a few months ago , which was a complete lie.
obviously my bf was not happy , and J has been a friend of mine for over ten years so seemed like a reliable source. we called him to try and clear the air and things got heated bcos he started accusing my partner of getting the wrong end of the stick and that he never said the things he did.

there is no doubt in my mind he said these things , he’s always been a massive gossip. but now my best friend M hasn’t spoken to me since this all happened , she accused my bf of lying which really hurt me bcos my partner wouldn’t do that, he’s recounted the story multiple times and never got a single detail wrong , and was sober. whereas J was stuttering , changing his story, and then cried when we asked why he did this.

i don’t know what to do , i love M dearly but her bf has absolutely broken my trust , gossiped about my past to my current bf ( which really upset him)
me and my partner have never argued in the 2 years we have been together until J came and told lies.
do i wait until my friend reaches out first ? what do i say or do from here ??? please help

hello, i (25f) adopted my dog when i was 21 and lived alone. he is a rescue from the south korea meat trade, i rescued him when he was 4.5years old and he’s had to learn everything a normal dog does like toilet training, playing, and learning that not everything out there is going to hurt him.
it’s been a really long frustrating road at times but i’m so grateful he is the way he is.
he’s such a lovely playful caring dog when he’s around me , his recall is amazing , i can have him off lead without worrying.

my partner moved in with us about 10 months ago , and Toby (dog) is still uneasy around him.

when i’m around he’s very playful with my bf , he asks for fusses, he listens to him when he asks him to sit or go to his crate. but when i’m not there all of that progress goes out the window.
i’ve been away for a few weekends over the last year and every time i do Toby will sit in an opposite side of the house to my bf and avoids him like the plague. this really confuses me because they do get along really well when im there, i just don’t know if there’s something that me and my partner could be doing to make Toby feel more comfortable.

to me i think it’s a mix of separation anxiety and anxiety around men (which is a big issue for toby anyway)

if anyone could give me any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

AITA for not wanting to reach out to my friend