u/ForwardGlass8572

I have and while I’ve gotten some nice comments, I get some mean ones too. idk if I should stop, the mean ones always seem “louder” for some reason. idk if 988 is a good idea. I’m kinda struggling with self hate and societal acceptance, and honestly sometimes Reddit increases my feeling of not being able to relate to others/fit in. I’ve always felt like a freak and the outcast of a group, and I’d really like to not feel that way. I crave friends/social interaction and bad social interactions kill me.

the thought of people hating me, piling o me, throwing stones at me(metaphorically and physically), shaming me. these were once my biggest fears. but sometimes I imagine this and I imagine putting on a show for everyone who hates me. cutting and hurting myself, offering them to take stabs at me, and k*lling myself. I feel like I’m always crying about things, even things from the distant past. what do I do? is it worth calling 988 or will I get “mentally deranged” on my permanent record? will the police come? I hate myself so much and others do too.

whenever I get them, I feel like im in middle school again. like no one likes the “real“ me, and I get self hate thoughts. worst part is that I remember all the hate comments and replay them in my head, and internalize them. I feel like no one would like me and yet I keep coming back to Reddit for some reason, even though it affects me so much. this is going to sound dumb, but I often vent on here, because I can’t really do so irl, and I’m anonymous here, but it often backfires anyway.