Holding my boundaries feels so hard sometimes
I've been no contact with my mother for quite a few years now. It's been a constant battle to continue to hold this boundary when she pushes past it for her own selfish desires. I used to give in a little bit because it felt easier to just let her have one conversation than have my phone get blown up because she's upset. I've been doing better about blocking and not responding, or stating the boundary and ignoring anything further.
Unfortunately she finds any chance to reach out to me when the main channels of communication have been blocked. She'll find me on Instagram or even LinkedIn to get ahold of me.
It's been especially hard these last few months. I'm getting married in 2 weeks and invited my dad, who I still talk to. He gives in to her desires a lot and occasionally asks me to talk to her. I feel bad because he is her caretaker and puts up with a lot from her. She's bipolar and schizophrenic which makes everything even more difficult. He seems exhausted and has mentioned he probably wouldn't fight it if she tries to divorce him (she's threatened it a few times now), but he won't do it himself. Despite my empathy for him, I know it's not my responsibility to give in just because he's having a hard time.
He's pushed me a little to invite her just so she won't be upset, stating that her meds and her physical condition make it so she won't go regardless. But honestly even that sliver of a chance she's got the energy that day is enough for me to say no. Plus, she's the one that's made this happen, not me. If she wanted to be at my wedding she should have considered my feelings over the years. He also texted me this week saying she was asking if I'd be willing to have a conversation with her, just to tell her my wedding plans because she's so excited for me. I held firm on my boundaries again, and he didn't push it further, but I'm getting so tired of having to repeat myself.