AITA for dress choice? MOG
My eldest son got married a few months ago. Early on, I spoke with both my son and his fiancée about my choice of dress. The wedding was an outdoor, daytime ceremony with an English-garden feel, followed by a tented reception in the evening.
I also spoke at length with the mother of the bride. She didn’t suggest that I wait for her to choose her outfit first and seemed very relaxed about everything. She told me she planned to wear something modest and daytime-appropriate for the ceremony (she is British and Orthodox Jewish), possibly with a hat or fastener, and then change into a floor-length gown for the reception.
I went dress shopping with friends and my sister-in-law and tried on many dresses, but none of them had the “wow factor” I was hoping for. I kept feeling disappointed and honestly a bit deflated, because this was my son’s wedding and I wanted to feel confident in how I looked. I sent photos of several options to my son and his fiancée so they could weigh in. My future daughter-in-law was very supportive and said I’d look beautiful in anything and that she mainly wanted me to feel comfortable. She did repeat several times that her mother planned to wear a midi- or tea-length dress or a two-piece ensemble for the ceremony, and something more formal for the evening.
Eventually, I found the dress immediately felt that “wow” feeling I’d been missing. I shared it with my son and daughter-in-law and asked for their honest thoughts. My DIL said it was beautiful and elegant and that she was happy I’d found something I felt confident in. She did ask whether I might consider something "more subtle" and sent me some links. She said she wanted me to feel comfortable and confident, so I assumed it was fine to go with my original choice.
My son later called and asked if I had liked any other dresses or would consider something less "flashy". I told him honestly that no, this was the only one that really gave me that wow factor and made me feel good. He said okay, so I took that as settled.I sent a photo of my dress to the mother of the bride, who hadn't yet picked her outfits. She later told me she'd found a cream, light purple, and light blue outfit for the ceremony that she felt would complement my colors, then she was planning on changing into a black, floor-length gown for the reception. She told me my dress was beautiful.
The week of the wedding my daughter-in-law was very stressed. I told her I'd brought a steamer to help with her dress and thought I might see her before the ceremony, but she didn't invite me in the bridal suite before ceremony. I had previously asked a few times to see photos of her dress, but she never showed me any.Since the wedding, my son and daughter-in-law have been distant and asked me not to share wedding photos. My son later told me his wife felt I made my dress too much of a focal point in the planning process. I’m honestly not sure what I did that crossed a line, which is why I’m looking for outside opinions.