u/Fragrant_Umpire_5113

3 sausages (protein goal), 10 pages, and a liter of water.
If I can do this while telling myself I’m gonna quit tonight, you can too.
Tell yourself you’re done all you want, but don’t quit.
It’s hard. It sucks. But don’t quit. Do what you have to do, learn from the suck.

I hate that I latch onto her weird antics and use them as “I knew it’s!” Because it just frustrates him and myself. I really need to stop, and I’m good about it most of the time. There are times where it’s hard though. Hearing him talk her down and calm his own mom down sends shivers throughout my spine. I don’t think I’ll ever have the luxury of a normal mother-in-law, so I guess I need to learn to not complain to him about his own mom. Did you grow out of this and just become an observer of their relationship?

I blocked her phone number because we’re visiting my side of the family. MIL has a tendency to get jealous or insert herself in weird ways. Originally, she would call her son and if he doesn’t answer, she would call me “I was just making sure you guys were ok.” Or “can you have him call me? It’s important” and it would just be her venting or telling him something that literally isn’t important at all. SO, I blocked her because she triggers me. Now, she’s reposting my tiktok videos to her Facebook as a promotional stunt? I’m not sure how to feel about it. She’s posting my stuff while I’m not responding to her? At least she’s also reposting videos looking for a husband so that’s a plus!

Why do they do this? It’s so strange

That we could literally SAVE LIVES if we had to. At our own expense, of course. I was in the middle of a hot yoga class thinking “if the world shut down and we were stuck in this room, I could literally feed people.” How crazy is that 😭 I often think about the mom who fed her kids after a hotel or similar collapsed and they lived off of breastmilk for 11 days. 3 kids. Insanity! That’s all I had to say.

short story: found out he spends his time and energy looking at other women on social media platforms but can’t do the dishes

Hi friends. I have been taking on all of the household things and watching her. I go to hot yoga once a day, several times a week… so he watches her for about 2.5 hours (incl driving, shower + making dinner).
I am tired. Of everything honestly. But what’s been dragging me the most is his lack of effort. His job is NOT hard and I say this with confidence. It’s not, but he tends to have a lot of work to do. I recently asked him for his phone to see wtf is taking up his time. His screen time is roughly 4 hours of Instagram *before he gets home.* I went to Instagram, looked at watch history, and changed the dates to “this week.” Lo and behold… all women. All half naked Instagram influencer type girls. Some of them didn’t have large followings, some did. I feel distraught and disgusted. It’s been 2 weeks since and I cannot get it out of my head. I want to leave him. I’m so fucking tired of holding everyone above my own head just be disregarded in that way. I get that men “look” but it’s not ok. Recently we were out walking the town & as a group of girls walked by, one of them said “was he just staring at your boobs??” And I looked at him & he said “definitely not talking about me?” He looked stunned. I believed it in the moment but my body just feels extra shut off and I’m not gonna lie, PPD is creeping up on me fast. I’m trying to keep it under control. Here’s the biggest issue… my family lives in one state and his lives in another. Neither of them are close to where we are now (10+ hour drive)..
Wtf do I do!!! He gives me the ick because he doesn’t do anything for himself. He’s lazy as fuck 😭

My boyfriend and I (yes, boyfriend & hesitant to marry him because of his mom) had a baby 5 months into dating. Our families live in different states thank god.

First time meeting his mom was very, very weird. She barely acknowledged me. A week later she texted me “xyz… give him a hug from the one who loved him first.” You’d think it’s a cute message until you realized she was using me to contact him. He doesn’t really text/call her back because she is constantly complaining about how miserable she is emotionally, financially, socially, etc. she has no friends, just immediate family.

Now that I became a significant part of his life by falling pregnant, the group chats began. The FaceTiming and triangulation (I learned that here lol thx guys) continued. But things started getting weird. She called me an incubator on the phone one time. His response to my concern was “she doesn’t even know what that means, she doesn’t mean it” but I knew in my gut.. she meant it.

I know this type of woman. Deeply insecure, can never satisfy her narc mother, has been married 3x is extremely gullible, emotionally charged, socially unaware, hyper-religious (can do no wrong), victim mentality, spending problem yet broke type of woman. She lives for the drama. She lives to look like the good guy. My boyfriend saw it but didn’t really see it until I turned into mama bear.

Now that I’m mama bear with a 5 month old and boundaries have been PLACED, a situation came up where we started arguing about his mom again.

We were sitting at a bar (visiting my family for once so my mom was watching baby), and he started scrolling thru his mom’s messages to find something. I noticed that’s she had sent some pretty long emotional texts and asked what they were about. One text, sent on Monday read “welp, I’ve tried to be on the quiet side and be respectful but I haven’t heard from you in a week blah blah blah” I asked “you really haven’t talked to her in a week!?” He said “no. this is why I don’t respond because she doesn’t stop once I reply.” This freaked me out because it was sent on MONDAY. On SATURDAY, when I noticed these messages, there were already pages of Facebook videos, regular messages, etc as he was scrolling to the current day.

I asked him if his mom’s struggles leave him feeling exhausted or if he thinks about them deeply (really trying to gauge if that’s why he’s been emotionally distant with me lately). His answer was “not as much as they used to when I lived back home.” I suppose this provided some relief but I have this deep, unsettled feeling that she is subconsciously ruining our relationship. It sounds crazy I know. I am sooo curious what the hell she texts him but it’s probably best that I don’t know.

I think she is extra jealous right now since we’re visiting my side of the family.. but I think I’m just really sensitive to peoples behaviors or lack thereof. It’s not my riddle to solve, but my boyfriend thinks I’m reaching sometimes. Maybe I am…?? Therapy??

Anyone else have a similar situation? How did it evolve? Tyia

I’ll spare the details but why is it so hard for me to sleep when she’s in crib? 😭 I realized that we’ve been waking up wayyyy too frequently + the rotating rotisserie chicken of a husband in the bed = irritable mommy.

I woke up 5 times last night while she woke up once to eat. I stayed up for 30 minutes at one point just listening to her breathe a few feet away from me. One of my thoughts (irrational, I know) was “what if her body thinks I’m neglecting her and that’s why SIDS occurs? Surely not because the fan is on… her body is hearing the fan… it’ll stay alert…” like what.

Anyways, it’s hard for me to fall asleep now that she’s in the crib. I still plan on cosleeping but trying something new. Anyone else relate?

Just tell me what you would do.
I’m a new SAHM to a 5 month old girl. I have been feeling defeated more and more lately. I brought up these feelings to my husband so in exchange, he made dinner a few nights ago (lmao). Last night he called me saying he wanted to go to twin peaks with his boss (old married man). I said sure, then checked their Instagram page, and got insecure. I told him I didn’t want him going because I’m just in a tough place and I’ve been feeling insecure lately about my body, losing my identity, not feeling emotionally connected to him, etc. There have been a few occasions where I’ll walk in the room and he quickly swipes away on his phone & I know.. in my gut, somethings up. He got home last night and I asked him to give me his phone. I checked his Snapchat to see if there were any recently added girls, messages, etc. I checked his recent Instagram following. That was it. Not even messages because that would be *very* bold of him. On Instagram, I realized his reels were explicit af. I don’t even have social media but I’m aware enough to know that every app tracks your “recently watched history” so I checked it, filtered it to “this week” and boy… oh boy… am I humbled. So humbled that now I don’t want to lift a fucking finger for anyone else but myself and my daughter. He is a great guy, he really is. He enjoys providing for us, and that’s about it. I don’t know if I’m upset over nothing but it doesn’t feel like nothing to me. It feels like I’ve been under water screaming at him to lift me up for days. His Instagram was fulllll of boobs and ass. All of it. I’m just so disgusted and I can’t look at him the same. I threw his phone and we got into a pretty heated argument, I’ve been silently crying all night and morning.. and thats as far as we’ve gotten. Not sure what to do. Does this turn into cheating? Am I overreacting? Have you dealt with this before? I have support elsewhere and I’m not afraid to pursue it, but I don’t want to make any impulsive decisions.

I’ll start this with a lighthearted disclaimer: I looooveee my chunky 4.5-month-old girl. Absolutely obsessed with her. But today was rough. Also, looking at the flairs makes me want to cry because you’re telling me WOMEN go through THIS MUCH with just breastfeeding. Society needs to do better. Anyways… maybe I’m a little hormonal. Whatever.

I realized today that I think I've become a human pacifier. We took a two-hour nap, and she basically gnawed on my boob the entire time. I also wonder if that's why I wake up 5+ times a night. We end up cosleeping for the second half of the night just so either of us gets any sleep.

During the day she only naps about 30 minutes at a time. She's a big girl with a big appetite, so I feed her, put her down for maybe 45 minutes, and then we're back on the boob. During the day I actually don't mind slowing down with her, but once my husband gets home and says, "She's hungry," I feel myself immediately getting overwhelmed.
Tonight I pumped instead of nursing just to see what would happen. I got 2.5 oz, and she chugged it in what felt like seconds... then was still hungry. It made me wonder if she's just a really slow eater on the breast or if she's comfort nursing more than I realized.

The bigger thing I've noticed since giving birth is that I'm craving a little bit of my old life back. I stopped working at 39 weeks and am finally starting to feel like myself again. I'm working out regularly, eating well, starting a work-from-home business, taking care of our home, and I'm her primary caregiver. I know I'm doing a lot, but breastfeeding feels like the one thing that keeps me completely tethered.

Tonight, right before bed, she started crying, and I just... stared at the wall while holding her. I wasn't angry. I wasn't even sad. I just felt mentally maxed out. That doesn't happen often, but it scared me a little because I felt completely checked out for a minute.

If I could change one thing right now, it would honestly be to switch to formula, get her on more of a routine, and stop feeling like my body belongs to everyone but me. Then I immediately feel guilty because I know this stage is so short, and I don't want to wish it away.

Has anyone else felt this torn? If you switched to formula because of your own mental health (not because you couldn't breastfeed), do you regret it? Or did it give you enough of yourself back to be a happier mom?

I’ll start this with a lighthearted disclaimer: I looooveee my chunky 4.5-month-old girl. Absolutely obsessed with her. But today was rough.

I realized today that I think I've become a human pacifier. We took a two-hour nap, and she basically gnawed on my boob the entire time. I also wonder if that's why I wake up 5+ times a night. We end up cosleeping for the second half of the night just so either of us gets any sleep.

During the day she only naps about 30 minutes at a time. She's a big girl with a big appetite, so I feed her, put her down for maybe 45 minutes, and then we're back on the boob. During the day I actually don't mind slowing down with her, but once my husband gets home and says, "She's hungry," I feel myself immediately getting overwhelmed.
Tonight I pumped instead of nursing just to see what would happen. I got 2.5 oz, and she chugged it in what felt like seconds... then was still hungry. It made me wonder if she's just a really slow eater on the breast or if she's comfort nursing more than I realized.

The bigger thing I've noticed since giving birth is that I'm craving a little bit of my old life back. I stopped working at 39 weeks and am finally starting to feel like myself again. I'm working out regularly, eating well, starting a work-from-home business, taking care of our home, and I'm her primary caregiver. I know I'm doing a lot, but breastfeeding feels like the one thing that keeps me completely tethered.

Tonight, right before bed, she started crying from a gas attack or overtired ? and I just stared at the wall while holding her. I wasn't angry. I wasn't even sad. I just felt mentally maxed out. That doesn't happen often, but I do feel a shift in wanting more independence for myself. by the way I do not have PPD or PPA

If I could change one thing right now, it would honestly be to switch to formula, get her on more of a routine, and stop feeling like my body belongs to everyone but me. Then I immediately feel guilty because I know this stage is so short, and I don't want to wish it away.

Has anyone else felt this torn? If you switched to formula because of your own mental health (not because you couldn't breastfeed), do you regret it? Or did it give you enough of yourself back to be a happier mom?

For reference, I consider and acknowledge his thoughts but some of them rub me the wrong way and it’s kinda funny so thought I’d share

You need to pump & freeze so we can have backup incase something happens to you”
*my body produces the perfect amount for her right now & we do have some backup*

“We should probably start putting her in the nursery”
*she exclusively sleeps in a side-car and has coslept with me since 1-week old*

“She cried herself to sleep today”
*considers a few minutes of “whining” crying it out*

“I feel like she’s not doing enough at her age”
*shes 4.5 months old and is literally fine, she just hasn’t hit some Guinness world record milestone*

“da-da”
*mama*

The list goes on and on!

Drop yours below

I feel disconnected from my daughter when we’re around the in-laws.

She’s almost 4 months old & for some reason I feel disconnected with her when we’re visiting them or vise versa. They are baby CRAZY like literally insane over babies and their obsession makes me view my daughter differently? Is that nuts?

Now we’re snuggling on the bed in the dark and I feel normal.. but there are moments when they coo and obsess over her and I just feel distant

Baby will be 4 months on July 4th.
She is completely inconsolable atleast once a day, usually around bedtime. This started few days ago. She has been a “perfect” baby until now (I mean she still is but… yaknow). I’m not taking dairy out of my diet because I don’t think it’s that.

She must be hitting a growth spurt or early teething but man………. This is so exhausting 😭 I just want my boobs to dry up but then I wake up the next morning like “i can stick it out for a few more months” 😭

My husband and I were laying in bed, baby propped on thighs. As she was looking down at both of us, she let out a real belly laugh. I haven’t felt this elated in my life. It makes you feel like you’re really doing something right.

Feel free to talk about your firsts in the comments!!! 😊

I’m gonna be real here, I want to leave my baby daddy. We met last year in January. I am extremely independent. I have been for the last 10 years of my life so I am going through a little bit of a depression from this adjustment to watching a three month old and staying at home all day. However, when my boyfriend gets home, I feel a sense of dread. Like my little bubble has bursted. I don’t feel happy or excited anymore. He pays the bills and I stay at home. I’ve been on my own since I was 17. working makes me feel purposeful and productive. It gives me a concept of time. I’m starting to realize how important it is to set goals and look forward to something. When I tell my boyfriend that I need a break or I’m feeling a certain type of way, he tends to defend himself. When I imagine my boyfriend’s efforts, it’s him sitting on the couch putting on a show, being on his phone, or playing video games. When I say I want him to help out more, he defends himself. if I could go back, I wouldn’t do this with him. His mom literally talked about making a reborn doll out of my child and she’s kind of crazy but that’s a whole different topic. She doesn’t live here thank God. I honestly just wanna move back home to be with my mom and live on her big plot of land with chickens and a nice backyard pool. I absolutely love my child and I have no regrets with her, but my man is giving me the ick.

I hate using that word. I don’t think it’s a fair word in general because narcissism can be difficult to diagnose. However, this lady has hit the nail on the head. She’s one of those sweet narcissists who can do no wrong. She could crash your car and talk about good her intentions were & if you cried, she would be crying harder.

My MIL is in town visiting our 3 month old and it’s 4am as I write this. I’m usually open to changing my perspective on things when she’s physically around, instead of ruminating in my head and going to worst case scenarios. But unfortunately, I’m building resentment in the room next door.

This woman (who I don’t know very well), has already broken down in front of me several times talking about her relationship with her mom, her sister, her 3 ex husbands, money, etc and I’m already burnt ~the fuck~ out.

I honestly walk around egg shells with this woman. I feel like picking up my own baby from her is an emotional feat. I feel like this woman is constantly judging my every move. I FEEL everything so heavily in my gut despite the circumstances, but have a hard time aligning it in the moment, and then moments of overwhelm like this happen 😭

This woman thinks her son is going to save her. She thinks he will get her a job and eventually a house in the state that we live in, which is INSANE because he only has 10k in the bank. We are not married and she is the only reason why I wouldn’t want to marry him because she sounds like she would be a money pit.

I am burnt out by this lady through and through. Just felt the need to ramble.