u/Free-Caterpillar4818

Hi I am a highschool student who went to an event for my region and this happened when I was 17.

I attended an event for an extracurricular and one of the important people's parents (who are like over 80) are there. So I start talking with the parents (because Im shy and they started talking to me first) and its all going cool until the dad's friend who is like 40 I think comes up to us and is like "Oh is this your new girlfriend? Don't worry I'll hide her from your wife". I acted confused to subtly let this guy know he is being weird and this guy then repeats the joke and is like "oh your his girlfriend" like this is the funniest thing ever. Mind you this is his first interaction with me I have literally never met him before and he has never known who I am but his first instinct when meeting someone who looks like a female (let alone an UNDERAGED one) is to say something relating to romantic or sexual relationships (Which I just find off putting). I literally looked at this guys wife and she looked so awkward and uncomfortable it was only the guys laughing. Imagine being married to someone for 60 years and having so much history with them just to have them laugh at a joke made about them dating a minor and replacing you . Not only is it weird to make this type of comment but its so weird to me that it almost makes women out to be something replaceable when they get older. I was zoned out for the rest of the night as well since i

I've never felt like a feminine person but when stuff like this happens to me it feels like theyre trying to force me into an identity that just doesnt work for me (Im sure this happens to people who identify as feminine too but I am just talking about my own experience).

Was this weird for this person to say? How can I handle this better in the future without being nice and reassuring towards the people who make me uncomfortable? I also get so stressed out and angry with living in a society that does this and its started affecting me physically. I dont want to develop illness from stress so I am also wondering what can I do to feel like I am fighting back without feeling aggressive and angry everyday?

Side Note: While the joke may have been made because they found the absurdity of a 17 and 80 year old to be so weird that it is funny, I dont think it should be my responsibility to understand what I did wrong/how I couldve misinterpreted it but rather the person who is making the joke should look inward and think "Am I going to make someone uncomfortable while making this joke?" "Does this joke put this person into a role (like gender roles) that make feel completely different to who they are as a person thus making them feel uncomfortable" "Why is my first thought when I see a 17 year old and an 80 year to make a joke about dating?" "Why is my first thought when I see a woman and a man talking to reduce the women down to someone for dating (obviously a lot of women and men date but what I am getting at is men and women talking shouldnt be viewed as inherently romantic)" "Do I know this person well enough to know theyre comfortable with a joke like this?" "Is this person a MINOR?". I have noticed when women speak up they're often blamed for "misinterpreting" things and told to look inward instead of the people making them uncomfortable (Theyre also called Karens). I dont believe this is helpful since this just enables these people to make others uncomfortable since society will just blame the ones uncomfortable for not giving the benefit of the doubt instead of telling the person to reflect on what they said.

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Hi I am a high school student with ADHD and cant get stuff done even with medication.

Whenever I try to get stuff like school work done or even stay present during lectures or reading I can't. I am addicted to sugar and playing on my phone because I cant do anything else. Whenever I try to discipline my brain by refusing to go on my phone or refusing to eat sugar or forcing myself to look at a slideshow it starts acting like a toddler and throws temper tantrums because it doesnt get what it wants. Suddenly I am highly irritated, anxious, and unable to comprehend the things I am reading or cant remember them. I start feeling extreme stress and my brain keeps saying "what about the phone" and "eat candy" and it just doesnt stop. It goes on for literal hours on end. It inhibits my ability to focus so horribly. I remember forcing myself to read a slideshow and it felt like the information was deflecting off my forehead and I spent an hour looking at that same slideshow comprehending nothing. I cant take breaks because if I take breaks Ill never work. When I am able to learn I still have reading comprehension which prevents me from learning the things I want to learn. With reading comprehension I cant string words together or string them together incorrectly in my brain.

I am wondering if anyone has any tips for comprehension and how to discipline your brain?

I am a highschool student going to guelph in september and I need accomodations for university specifically for extra time due to adhd which I would fail without. The issue is my parents didnt schedule the psych ed appointment till later in the year even though I was asking them in January because of deadlines for june 15th but they kept pushing off making the appointment. This is the worst case scenario for me because I had my psych ed in mid april and now its mid may and the deadline is june 15th. My dad said it was probably still a month out but thats literally right on the deadline. I also cannot fill out the sas application and get an appointment with an advisor without the documentation and Im willing to bet that it takes a long time after your fill out the form to get an appointment and then a long time after that to get the accomodations. Its also probably really busy for the sas advisors this time of year as well so itll be even harder to get an appointment. I am just very frustrated because I feel like this was so easy to avoid if I was listened to earlier and now I dont know what to do.

I am also stressed out because I dont even know if there is other stuff to do the page was so unclear I had 5 different strokes reading it (Which I never understand about universities because youre trying to accomodate people with cognitive disabilities but make ypur website as confusing as possible). All I know is that you fill out a form and book an appointment but then it started talking about setting up your accomodations which is very vague because what do you mean by that? Do I contact the professors about my accomodations? Do they contact the professors? Do I give the professors something?

I feel like this stress couldve been avoided if my parents listened to me and booked the psych ed appointment earlier because now im at risk of failing.

I am wondering if there is anything I can do right now to speed up the process. I cant email the school because I dont even know what I need to ask them because I am so confused there are like five different sas pages so far that ive found and theres probably more where Ive missed important information.

Note: sorry if my english is bad in this it is 1 am and I am stressed out so Im not able to focus on writing that much.

I have been really stressed out lately and have been trying to get my accomodations for university of guelph which I am pretty sure is due June 15th for the fall. Unfortunately I was booked in last minute and Im not even sure if the psych ed I did will be in on time. The issue is despite the page I was on in the website supposedly being to accomodate people with disabilities my disability stopped me from understanding the page. Does anyone else have this issue where they cant understand everything despite trying strategies like pick out words you know? Please let me know how to fix it.