u/Free_Corgi8269

So my baby (6 months) woke up at 1:30 for his late night feed. I laid him on my chest (flat, I'm laying down) to cuddle him back to sleep - suddenly I notice that he's not really breathing. I sit us up and he burps (he didn't burp right after his feed because he was falling asleep), and goes back to sleep, and now he's breathing fine. No snoring, etc. But I'm terrified to put him in his crib now, and would rather stay up and make sure he's still breathing.

Has anyone else experienced this? I think the entire episode maybe lasted 5 -10 seconds, but it felt like forever

Well, I'm nearing the end of my pumping journey a lot sooner than I expected. I didn't have a hard and fast date, but it looks like 6 months - today - is either the end, or close to it. I've been dropping pumps over the last couple of weeks.

I kind of feel like a failure, not gonna lie. I wanted to be able to overcome all my challenges and pump until my son is a year old.

But I had a horrible sciatica flare that lasted almost two months - still ongoing, if you count the pain when I get up. Plus working from home, dealing with people that seemed to think my job was optional until my numbers started suffering. On top of that, I constantly had to wait for others to be able to care for my son for 30 minutes to an hour so I could pump until semi empty. No matter what I did, how much research I did, or flange size adjustments, my breasts never wanted to fully give up their milk.

Reading all that, I should be somewhat proud of myself for pushing through as long as I did. I just feel guilty, and like I'm failing him. I wish I'd been able to nurse, but even that wouldn't have solved anything - i couldn't even hold him for weeks during that flare.

Sorry the the ramble. It's 3:30am, and the guilt has been weighing heavy on me since I decided to wean off pumping.

Best luck with your journeys, mamas.