u/Freemasonsareevil

I know this sub is schizoid, not schizophrenic, but maybe just maybe schizoids have a higher risk of psychosis than the average person. Not sure about that. It is part of the schizophrenia spectrum after all.

For me personally, I had experienced psychosis for quite some time last year. About late January until mid April. I got into some trouble at school and started believing my thoughts were being broadcasted for everyone within a certain radius could hear. It was being used to embarrass and shame me. I also believed the teachers at uni were secretly in on at (yeah…) I didn’t get violent but secretly resented one poor teacher.

What else, I also believed I was being spied on. My phone camera was being accessed by people on the dark web (didn’t help that I watch dark web horror stories, which are exaggerated anyway)

It was hell. Thankfully, I didn’t get violent but got so angry I almost threw something at someone at work. I forget the exact timeline but I took antipsychotics and eventually got over it

For schizoids that experienced psychosis, I’m curious to hear the details

Might sound like an edgelord for this but 99% of the time I smile/slightly laugh in public (especially at work) I don’t find what the other person said funny. I know masking is a thing. Is anyone else like this though? I also have a hard time telling if someone is joking and am kind of socially slow. I know it has to do with their tone of voice.

For me personally, I think I’m schizoid with autistic traits, possibly level 1 autism (high functioning). What’s funny for me is when I starting working at the job I work at now, I didn’t realize it was normal to ask strangers “How are you?” at least here in the US. But this could be due to my lack of social skills from being schizoid, rather than autism.

I also sometimes can’t tell when someone is joking for example at work there’s been times where a stranger will go “I’m kidding” or similar after the “joke”. And a big thing for me is I have to constantly mask while at work especially have to pretend smile and laugh, I hate it. I remember a time where a woman went “at least he smiled” like gee

I actually have to squint when going outside and it’s sunny, which might be normal but what probably isn’t is that I have a memory of being maybe 10-12 and going to an air show where planes would fly and do tricks. I remember it got so loud I had to buy earplugs and cover my ears and I was even crying because I felt like I would go deaf.

I’m actually going to get tested for ASD in a couple months. I wonder if I’ll get schizoid points or however that works.

Anyone have autism schizoid comorbid or autistic traits? How does it differ from plain schizoid?

So I was just at work today and all of a sudden I got a strong sense of derealization, it’s hard to describe the feeling but almost like a sense that’s it’s crazy I’m alive and interacting with other people. Almost like existentially. Like the odds of human life is so slim. I don’t experience it that often but when I do, it’s intense and all I can think about for the short 20-30 seconds how long it lasts. Anyone else experience this or something similar?

Title. DM me for any shiny pokemon you want hunted and I’ll do it for you. Also willing to take out a Pokemon of a gym for you if needed, but please drop cords

Not sure what to flair this as, so mods can change it if they feel fit.

Anyway, this is my question. Do schizoids lack a sense of loyalty? Remember all those high school football games growing up? Did you attend them and support your school. I didn’t. I didn’t care for my school at all in the slightest. What about your country? Are you patriotic? Me no, but I do hope my country the best future.

The only loyalty I have is to myself and my family. I don’t care for my HS or college. I always found it silly even annoying when the founder at my college would scream the 2 words that went with my college. (Eg. Bears rule). I do like sports however and like my state’s basketball and baseball teams. I’m curious about you guys

For me Openness - High

I do prefer routines and familiar things. For example, I often get the same meal at a restaurant multiple times if I enjoy it. But my openness shows through curiosity about certain topics, often taboo. I’m not super interested in philosophy or art, but I am interested in psychology and am an abstract thinker.

Conscientiousness - Moderate

Admittedly I struggle with time management, discipline, and motivation. The biggest indicators are my poor dental hygiene and slim male body. However, I am a naturally organized person and like to do a good job when doing chores. I make it a priority to have good academic grades and try to make good, smart choices in my life. I always try to show up to events or work or appointments slightly early. I also hope I make a good first impression on people.

Extroversion - extremely low

Definitely the lowest facet by far. I am a very introverted person. I spend all my free time by myself or SOMETIMES with my family. There are many reasons but I don’t like spending time with people. However, sometimes I get the urge to talk with people (mostly from the internet). Even in terms of positive emotions, which I think it has to do with, I have few.

Agreeableness - low - moderate

I am very agreeable at work, but it kind of requires it. I make sure to say “hi” and be polite but I kind of do the bare minimum in terms of talking. I only talk when the customer talks. As for outside of work, I don’t really care for social norms. I’m kind of noncomformist. I don’t really care if I offended your feelings and don’t dwell on it. I also lack affective empathy. Someone could say their sister died and I would say sorry. I understand it’s sad for them but don’t share their feelings.

Neuroticism - moderate

I have a low emotional reactivity. I’m a patient person and it would take a lot for a stranger to work me up. Anger is low. Anxiety is a bit higher than average though. When I’m very stressed, I get paranoid, and even became psychotic last year. I had to take medication for it.

What’s your big 5?

I like to look at Instagram and see people my age and what they’re doing. I admit, I’m a little creepy with it, haha. But I notice a lot of guys and girls my age have a boyfriend/girlfriend, some even are proposing. The whole concept is foreign to me. I don’t even know how they search for a good “fit”? And what do they do, date them? I imagine it’s a whole lot of wasted time and money which leads me to

1: I value my free time too much. I would rather spend time for example playing on my switch than using that time to find a date that could and probably will go south.

2: I value my money. I’m not going to spend my hard earned money on girls that could leave me any second

3: I am emotionally inept. I’ve been emotionally detached for decades. So for example if my potential GF gets excited about something, I probably won’t be

4: I don’t want kids. I could always find a GF that’s the same but that’s extra effort

There are probably other reasons too, but these are the big 4 that come to mind. What are yours?

For me it was around high school. In middle school, I still was somewhat social, albeit I never really hang out with kids outside school besides my friend every couple months. High school though, I felt very alien. I remember the first day of one year, probably sophomore year, I looked to sit with somebody and I saw an empty seat with a guy I knew but didn’t really talk to much. He was a nice kid but he said, sorry, someone else was going to sit there. I felt at the bottom of the school hierarchy. Other kids started dating and probably having sex while I was afraid to talk to the opposite sex.

Maybe my brain tries to repress high school because I really didn’t enjoy it. I really hated lunch and almost considered going to the bathroom the entire time. I also remember study hall and how a bunch of kids there would talk with other students at their table while I either did schoolwork or some nerdy shit I found enjoyable. That’s when I realized people were social creatures and I was not like them.

It almost fascinates me how I am so different from people. Maybe not that much but my brain must have low reward sensitivity to social interactions. It’s a reason I’m semi interested in psychology. I also don’t know what caused it. I kind of theorize now I may have been born with schizoid traits because I have many memories of avoiding the neighbor kid and hiding to avoid playing with him.

I’m going on a tangent and love to, lol. But when did you guys start to feel different?