I'm glad to see you happy. It gives me strength to move on.
I'm really happy for you to see that the things slowly starting to working out. Somehow it gives me strenght to move further in live as was stuck in this for too long.
I wish you all the best and the only thing i always wanted is love and peace of mind for both of us.
There are only few things that are scratching my soul, it's your behavior towards me and the whole another you since we broke up first.
I don't try to make a point here, blaim, manipulate. This is also the last thing I ever would say to you, about you to anyone as I want to move on and i' ready to open up the door for others.
I still love you, yes but I never want you in my life again.. i spend a lot of time, a lot, obsession a lot about think of everything that happened this/last year and I saw who my family are and also who you are.
I could never imagine or feel the pain i caused you by not being there for you when you needed me. We said a lot of mean things to each other. I really never wanted to say them, I know you either. I guess at that point I lost you and get hit with the reality. I never wanted to learn your other you and wanted you to be driven by anger. But even that, I couldn't accomplish. I guess you'll hate me for ever.
Maybe it's a good thing because otherwise we would stuck in this question mark thing for ever. I guess that was the thing, we were never sure. I let down my anger, forgive, but never forget what you did to me. I never let you down on purpose, never. I think I was just not strong enough to expres myself towards the people I unfortunately call "family". What I did see is that everything you did to me is in my opinion not ethical and human. I'm really sorry and always will be for that statement I made towards you. Even now, I say sorry again, because I really am.
What I never got, is an explanation and a sorry for driving me insane, lat me guess, look crazy in front of everyone while just hiding things from me. At this point it felt more than gaslight and manipulation in my opinion. I always waited for explanation, an apology. Never got it, instead you just pictured me as devil in front of everybody to get attention and empathy. I really don't care about their opinion. I do care about the way you played it. This was never a game for me, I just wanted you talk to me, open up, cry together, laugh, cuddle.
Now you feel sweet revenge, all the people are supporting you while getting just a half of the story. Now they hate me, talk shit about me while you are still the good, loving, caring, empathic and smart one.
And now, i'm the devil, the crazy one, with no friends, narcissistic, manipulative, rotten family members, worth nothing. My feelings never mattered to you, so do I.
But I just move on in silent. I never seek attention from the crowd, never needed it. Use me once again to get profit. I don't care about the rest, I cared about you.
Not anymore..
I don't need an answer or an apology. This was more a letter to myself to burn it to ashes and free my soul. I'm ready to explore.
I still wish you get all we ever wished for together.
With love.