u/Frequent-Aerie-2174

just wanted to share my sweetie, belly. she’s the sweetest girl ever. truly what i believe to be some kind of mystical being. she spaces out like she’s deep in thought, always tends to me when i’m sad or upset, and loves being held and pet. she’s also a little clumsy and a bit of a weirdo, just like me. my absolute soul cat ♡

Hi there :)

In January 2026, at 28 years old, my parents disowned me for being a lesbian. I live In California btw.

It’s funny, you think these stories stayed in the 60s or something….. they didn’t.

For context, you probably won’t find it surprising to learn that my parents are dysfunctional to say the least. They’ve been very controlling and abusive my whole life. They are devout “Muslims” (Welll I personally believe the most un-religious/ un-Godly thing you can do is cut off your child.)

Being raised Muslim, meant that not only did I continue to disappoint them through each of my choices and identity but also disappoint and embarrass their entire community.

They truly believe that if they accept me for being gay, they will go to hell, so in their minds they feel they can’t.

I never came out to my family because I knew this would be the outcome, but earlier this year they found out through what I suspect was social media. I’m talking the whole thing. My mom texted me sayin: “You are no longer my daughter, I am no longer your mother. You’re disgusting, we’re disowning you. You’re on your own now.” etc etc. As well as a bunch of absolute statements describing me as an alcoholic? Which I am not. lol.

For context we didn’t live together. We lived about 150 miles apart in Southern California.

My dad sent me a text saying, “I’m sorry I love you, but I can’t see this,” whatever that means.

I never replied because honestly, what was there to say? My nervous system couldn’t really bear seeing another tormenting message.

The day after these messages were sent, they stole my car, so I’ve been kinda car-less since. Luckily, my beautiful friend has lent me her car since.

It’s been about 4 months, we haven’t spoken since and it’s been a journey as you can imagine. Some days I’m okay, honestly relieved to be away from the constant scrutiny and control. And then other days I’m sad, depressed, empty, full of fear and exhausted.

Some days my heart aches so hard, I think I’m literally gona d*e.

My friend noted today that she thinks I’m harboring a lot of shame for being disowned, and I’m figuring out how to deal with that. I’ve just been trying to heal from this, and take care of myself. I’m really struggling in figuring out how to grieve something like this. When i tell people about it, I am usually met with shock and pity. Which makes me feel a little more like an outsider.

I’m also not from the US, my parents brought me here as a teenager. I’m from the UK. I’ve been here for 12 years. Which adds a whole other level of abandonment. I’m pretty sure they actually moved back to the UK, the last I heard. So I pretty much have no family, my sibling also cut me off and I wasn’t really close with the rest of my extended family for either generational dysfunctions reasons, or because they all live in many different continents and lost contact.

In December 2025 I also got laid off from my job and am still unemployed, so it’s been really hard in terms of financial security. Not to mention I live in Los Angeles.

I guess I’m coming on here to see if anyone has any words to share, has been through something similar, etc. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you in advance. ❤️