My first ever fight scene.[Fantasy, 1013 words]

Chapter 6

Reflexes and Misfortune

Not just one or two, but every light in the hallway was flickering.

The crowd that had been cornering Harry earlier quietly slipped back into their rooms, unwilling to get caught in the fight.

"Are the bills due?", Maria said, squinting her eyes.

After Sally left, Sara practiced her transformation multiple times for a week, and every time she transformed, all the lights in her house started flickering.

'Guess I really do have bad luck…..' Sara thought to herself.

She had positioned herself in front of Harry who was lying injured.

"Screw it!", Maria flapped her wings and aggressively lunged towards Sara.

She flew, slicing through the air faster than Sara could comprehend , until she was a foot away from her and raised her hook-shaped arm in the air when the environment changed.

Maria's super fast strike was looking like just a crawl to Sara.

But it wasn't just her, everything around Sara was somehow extremely slow, from the sweat on her forehead to the fly buzzing around the flickering ceiling lamp.

But Sara's mind was crystal clear, she could see, feel and think like normal. 

She stared at Maria's arm which should have sliced through her neck, while every nerve, every muscle and every cell in her body screamed at her.

Move. Left.

Sara lunged to her left instantly.

Everything was back to normal.

'What the hell just happened?' Sara regained her balance, but there was no time for questioning as Maria had already launched her other arm towards her.

SWOOSH!

The arm moved smoothly, cleaving the air around it and was inches away from Sara's face.

It happened again.

Everything had slowed down.

Except Sara who moved on pure instinct.

Duck.

Sara crouched and evaded the attack which pierced through the wall behind her.

'An opening!'

Sara clenched her fist, black fur bristled as she poured all her strength into a heavy uppercut. 

Sara's strike landed solidly on Maria's abdomen sending her flying backward.

But before the distance between them could widen, Maria lashed her arm out with frightening speed hooking Sara by her neck mid air, dragging her with her.

Maria aggressively flapped her wings to kill her momentum and swung her arm to fling Sara away.

Sara flew past Regus who didn't even flinch, crashing into a wall on the other end of the hallway.

"*Cough!* Aghhh!", Sara violently arched backwards as sharp pain rushed through her spine.

"Ha!", Maria grunted, wiping the sweat from her mouth, "This is exactly why I hate cat reflexes!"

"She's pretty agile for a newbie." Regus added.

Maria then turned to injured Harry, "Now it's your turn you bastard!".

SSSSHHH!

A thick stream of water burst through the hole in the wall created from her previous strike, splashing right on her face.

"W–What the hell is this?", she said while blocking the stream with her hands.

"Seems like you've damaged a water pipe.", Regus said while adjusting his watch.

"Damn it! Are you serious?", Maria said while moving forward towards the hole.

"I suggest you fix it before you get punished for it.", Regus added.

Maria's left arm shifted back into it's normal human form. She squeezed it inside the hole and moved it for a few seconds.

BUZZZ!

"AAAGHHH!", Maria's whole body started shaking violently.

Regus's eyes widened, he instantly scanned the hallway until he found the main power switch and quickly turned it off.

The hallway went dark. 

Maria's body went still for a few seconds before she collapsed to the ground.

Regus let out a slow breath, 'I'd heard there was a spot behind these walls where the water pipes and the power lines intersected, but to think that Maria found it like this....'.

'Wait!', he immediately turned around to look at Sara, noticed her black fur, black cat-ears and black tail, 'Could it be?', his brows shot up.

'What a strange power for a half-blood to have.', he kept staring at her until the sound of grunting from behind caught his attention.

Harry limped heavily, with his hand pressed against his bleeding head. His teeth gritted as he got closer to unconscious Maria.

His body had fully transformed. He stood taller, his frame thicker with muscle and his shoulders broader than before. Golden fur swayed on his brawny arms, while his blonde hair grown enough to hide his entire forehead with a wagging golden tail behind him.

He raised his clenched fist as he strained every muscle aiming for Mari's head, when he was pressed against the wall by something heavy.

It was a long, brown needle, slightly curved near the tip, held in Regus's one hand with the other clasped behind his back.

His transformed state looked nothing special at first glance. Just a taller and muscular build until you notice the tons of those same needles sticking out from his back.

"Remember", he said calmly, "I could have used the other side too."

Harry stared at him, grunting aggressively.

He picked the unconscious Maria by her collar with his other hand before he dropped Harry.

As Regus left, dragging Maria on the ground by her collar while his body returned to its human form, Harry glared at him, panting heavily.

As soon as they had disappeared, Harry's gaze snapped to Sara, who was lying motionless at the end of the empty hallway.

He hurriedly got up and started hobbling towards her.

Blood from the back of her head ran down on her neck, staining her skin, while a few scratches marred on her face. 

Harry groaned as he picked her up in both of his arms, he sank low in his legs before bolting down the stairs.

Sara stayed senseless in his arms as he carried her down the entire building.

"NO!......DAD!......PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM!", Harry screamed at the police officers dragging James Cooper away from him, the memory was vivid as the day it had happened. He desperately tried to reach his father but the woman holding him refused to let go.

'No!', Harry thought to himself as he quickened his pace, 'Not again!'.

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u/Frequent_Passage9039 — 3 days ago

Character Designs for my three mains villains.

It's all AI. I'm broke and can't afford an artist, just wanted to know you guy's first impression on them.

u/Frequent_Passage9039 — 5 days ago

Feedback for my power system idea

So in my story, there are inhumans which are basically a mix of humans and animals. Some people can transform into their inhuman form at their will. In their inhuman form they can use their passive skills which mainly include, great strength, speed, vision, etc. some may also have some unique passive skills which depend upon what animal they've got. Now there's also some high level skills which require a special form of energy which I named Ojas. Now Ojas can be said to be the truest representation of an inhuman's soul.

Now, the quantity of Ojas an inhuman possesses purely depends on how much they know themselves and how much they understand their goals. What affects it negatively includes mostly self doubt, lack of self confidence, having a feeling that they don't even realize, etc. But their body should also be able to handle that amount of Ojas and the skills that come with it so they've gotta train physically as well.

Now there's also a thing called Power Drivers, basically the source of Ojas for an inhuman. It's a feeling which for most characters is related to their end goal, like protectiveness, charity, pride, etc. Power Drivers also determine the color of an inhuman's Ojas. Almost every inhuman has just one Power Driver but there are few exceptions where they have two. Interestingly every villain whether main or side villain has their power driver as one of the seven deadly sins. Like one has pride, another one has envy.

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u/Frequent_Passage9039 — 9 days ago

Feedback on my power system idea [Fantasy]

So in my story, there are inhumans which are basically a mix of humans and animals. Some people can transform into their inhuman form at their will. In their inhuman form they can use their passive skills which mainly include, great strength, speed, vision, etc. some may also have some unique passive skills which depend upon what animal they've got. Now there's also some high level skills which require a special form of energy which I named Ojas. Now Ojas can be said to be the truest representation of an inhuman's soul.

Now, the quantity of Ojas an inhuman possesses purely depends on how much they know themselves and how much they understand their goals. What affects it negatively includes mostly self doubt, lack of self confidence, having a feeling that they don't even realize, etc. But their body should also be able to handle that amount of Ojas and the skills that come with it so they've gotta train physically as well.

Now there's also a thing called Power Drivers, basically the source of Ojas for an inhuman. It's a feeling which for most characters is related to their end goal, like protectiveness, charity, pride, etc. Power Drivers also determine the color of an inhuman's Ojas. Almost every inhuman has just one Power Driver but there are few exceptions where they have two. Interestingly every villain whether main or side villain has their power driver as one of the seven deadly sins. Like one has pride, another one has envy.

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u/Frequent_Passage9039 — 9 days ago

This the fourth chapter of the first novel Ive ever written. It shows the first day of our mains character in the world of inhumans (Mix of humans and animals). For context, every inhuman has powers of one random animal and the main character has a black cat, the bad luck one.

[1222] Please be brutally honest while reviewing it.

Black Eclipse

Chapter 4: First Day

Bad luck. It might just look like two short words, but are more than enough to scare any human being. It has endless possibilities unlike the opposite of it, it can turn a billionaire to a homeless man in seconds or make a homeless man go through even worse. And apparently, Sara was a walking bad luck charm.

'*Sigh*Seriously, out of all possibilities.....'

A week had passed since that day. Sara was back in her human form. It wasn't that hard to transform back as it happened simultaneously as she exhaled in relaxation just as Sally instructed her to.

It wasn't confirmed whether Sara really has bad luck or not, it was just an assumption made by Sally, as her pencil made a of so called hardest material in the world broke while noting down her details and also the fact that there exist a few inhumans who possess the superstitions related to their animal type.

"Move away girl!" a loud voice came from behind which made her move five steps away almost instantly.

It was a huge man with arms covered in brown fur, two big grey horns sticking out from his head and a brown tail sticking out from his behind. He was carrying five huge trees on his shoulders.

Sara was speechless, 'This really is, a different world.' She had entered the world of inhumans, and this was her first day.

Sara looked around herself, huge buildings, taller than every tree around them, almost everywhere which looked normal until she noticed the people around her. Almost every single person around her had a unique body, some had fur, some had feathers, some even had scales and some had things she had never even seen before.

But the most noticeable thing here was that every person was smiling. Sara remembered the sight of every morning in the train she took to go to school, the faces she saw were exhausted, dried and frustrated. But here? They're full of life.

Sara remembered what Sally said before leaving her with the location of the main inhuman city, "Your brother left you a gift, and I don't think he would like you to waste it by grieving for him non stop. So smile, that's what being an inhuman is about. To have the smile which you couldn't when you were a human."

"So this is it", Sara looked straight up at a huge gate with the name 'Faunatica Academy of Inhumans' engraved on it, and smiled, "My new life!"

Sara started walking towards the gate, and while walking she closed her eyes thinking of every good memory she had spent with Sam and the gift he left for her, 'Thank you Sam, I won't let you dow.–.' Just as she was about to set her foot into the academy gates, she ran into a tall man who she didn't see was walking in the opposite direction because of her eyes closed .

'Are you serious?' Sara was furious, but she was a girl with manners, she turned around and looked the man in the face, " I'm sorry!"

Sara froze. The man's face, it had three big claw marks on it, but that was not the scariest part, his face had.....no expression? He wasn't angry, not sad but.... nothing, and was still able to give Sara goosebumps. The man looked at Sara for a second then turned around and walked away.'Guess every world has its own exceptions.'

Sara was not really happy with the start of her new life so far but, 'It's not over yet', she was not the one to give up that easily.

She entered the gates and walked towards the small red building with the name 'Registration' written on it.

She registered herself using the registration slip she had gotten from Sally. While the man on the counter was working on the registration Sara took a moment to take a good look at the academy's campus. It has a lot of trees everywhere, "The greenery here is insane".

The man on the counter chuckled, "The people of Faunatica treat trees like they are citizens as well. When a new building is constructed the trees in that area aren't chopped, instead but lifted and planted in a whole new place." Sara immediately was reminded of the man carrying five trees on his shoulders when she was entering the academy.

Sara was then handed two big suitcase which belonged to her and along with them, a keycard of her dorm room with the number '304' written on it.

The dorm building was a lot bigger than the registration building, it looked more like those sci-fi futuristic buildings she had seen in movies, but the more interesting thing about it was that apparently, this place strongly believed in gender equality as there were no male or female dorms, there were just dorms.

Sara took the elevator to the third floor as that was where her room was, as soon as the elevator doors opened she heard a commotion. She exited the elevator with her two suitcases and instantly found the source of the commotion. At the end of the hallway in the corner.

Sara frowned, 'Are we deadass?' the commotion was near room '305', right next to her room.

There were like 10 people cornering one guy. Among them the one in the front yelled at him, "Seriously? YOU'RE gonna live next to us?"

"This is insane!" a girl from the back said.

"I'm gonna call the authorities, I'm not gonna live next to a scum like him!" said another one.

Sara didn't know what this was about, nor she was very interested in it, so she silently walked past the commotion without paying any attention and got to her room. She pulled the keycard out from her pocket and pressed it against a scanner on the door. With a click sound the gate was unlocked and just as she grabbed the door knob to open it she heard someone from the crowd yell, "What if he turns just like his father James Cooper?"

Sara's eyes widened, she immediately turned her head to look at the cornered boy and started walking towards the crowd she avoided a second ago.

"Did you say James Cooper?" Sara's eyes were still wide. A girl from the crowd turned around to look at her and said, "Yes! That infamous killer, James Cooper!"

Sara pointed towards the boy in the corner, "And he is his son?"

"Yes!" said the girl.

"Please excuse me" Sara pushed past the crowd to reach the corner of the hallway where the boy was being held. He was the same height as her.

"Are you really James Cooper's son?" Sara looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Y–Yes" the boy hesitated. He was desperately trying not to make eye contact with her, not with anyone, like he was ashamed of himself.

Sara lifted her right hand and brushed his blonde hair, "What's your name, buddy?"

"Harry Cooper", his bright blue eyes looking right at Sara.

Sara's right hand slid from his hair to his right cheek while she lifted her left hand to grab the other one.

Sara with her eyes still wide smiled, "Listen up very carefully Harry Cooper!" Her soft hands were cupping Harry's face.

"You are mine!"

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u/Frequent_Passage9039 — 11 days ago