u/Fresh-Pear-9210

I've lived through experiences to know that these thoughts didn't come out of nowhere. So before anyone says that I'm just complaining or making excuses please understand that this has been sitting quietly at the back of my mind for years.

It was easier to ignore it than to admit it might be true. But after a recent experience, I can't seem to push it away anymore.

Lately I've been preparing for a very tough exam and everytime i find myself questioning my worth. Am I even worthy to compete with these naturally gifted people? Sometimes it feels like I've walked into a battlefield with nothing but my bare hands while everyone else has been handed a weapon.

They say that "if you work hard enough,  you'll eventually get there". I want to believe that. I really do. But does this promise truly extend to talentless people like me?

Working hard is all I've ever had. And it hurts to see years of sacricfices, sleepless nights and pain i endured, be overshadowed by someone who is just as hardworking but also naturally talented.

I don't envy people for being talented. But I just wonder what it's like to want something so badly and not feel like you're constantly fighting against yourself to get there

It feels like a curse to carry a hunger so intense that it consumes you while feeling limited by the very abilities you were born with...

I really wish there was a hopeful perspective to this

So I live in a shared room and my roommate's really good but recently due to difference in sleep schedule I'm not able to have good sleep. She makes too loud noise having less regard that I sleep early and because of the noise she makes, I wake up from my deep sleep and become fresh and can't go back to sleep.

And without good sleep, I can't focus on my studies

So I'm thinking of shifting to a different accommodation with single room.

I'm someone who overthinks alot and confronting is something impossible for me.

What convincing excuse/story/reason do i give her for my shifting to make her feel less offended and not make her feel like I'm leaving because of her. I'm not blaming her but right now, I want to priorities myself with the exams coming up.

I'm good friends with her and I just don't want to create any misunderstanding