u/Freya-F

So I have been praying istikhara for the man I'm going to marry. Initially, I felt fine, I said yes, but after that I've struggled and wanted to say no so many times, I've lost count. I talk to him, I don't like something, I want to break it off. I've read that if the istikhara is positive, everything goes smoothly and everything is, we haven't found anything major enough to break it off. But I've also read that if it is positive, you will feel at ease. Is it the shaytan confusing be or is there something I can't see. Because after every conversation, I feel like there's something I just can't see.

So I have been praying istikhara for the man I'm going to marry. Initially, I felt fine, I said yes, but after that I've struggled and wanted to say no so many times, I've lost count. I talk to him, I don't like something, I want to break it off. I've read that if the istikhara is positive, everything goes smoothly and everything is, we haven't found anything major enough to break it off. But I've also read that if it is positive, you will feel at ease. Is it the shaytan confusing be or is there something I can't see. Because after every conversation, I feel like there's something I just can't see.

I(23F) had been talking to the guy I was engaged to for some time now and I noticed he gets very defensive when it comes to expenses, I am an esthetician and his parents have agreed to help me open my business, but the equipment is very expensive and I just wanted him to know an estimate amount it would require because in our previous conversations he has let me know that he is not very financially stable at the moment. So, as soon as I told him about the average costs, he flipped out, he was like when my parents have already told that they'll help, then why are you asking for confirmation( that was not my intention), we are a middle class family, so basically he was saying things like he'll help set it up, but it will take some years, I would have been fine if the Convo lasted till this, but then he continued saying, why don't you get the money from your parents if you want it so much. First of all, I never asked his parents for their help, they told it by the goodness of their hearts. His parents are good people and honestly, that was the only reason I had agreed to the engagement, but whenever I talk to him, I have never felt satisfied. He's not a typical bad person, does not shout or be aggressive, but he tends to say things like this and the next day behaves normally as if nothing happened saying he is a person who avoids conflict. He and his parents have already apologized for what he said but his apology came after I refused to proceed with the engagement, before that he was behaving like nothing happened.

I felt like okay, at least he apologized, but every time we talk, I just don't like it, I feel so tired, I feel like I just want to get over it. I don't feel any excitement.

So I have decided to stop with this engagement. I just want to ask, will I ever get a good proposal after this, honestly I don't know why I'm even asking this, I know after this, I'll get this tag of the girl whose engagement broke. There was not something so bizarre about this guy that would just be unacceptable to society, he apologized also afterwards. But I just can't see myself living with him in the future.