My spouse and I have been married 8 years, together 10. We have an extremely tight bond. We’ve always been 100% transparent with one another. It’s cliche to say, but we really are each others best friend. We are soul tied in a way, I’d like to believe.
We’ve made it through a lot together. Trauma we’ve helped each other throughout our past 10 years together, we discuss our issues, ideas, comments, and concerns. As far as I know, there isn’t 1 secret that we don’t know about one another.
She’s just recently found herself again after childbirth. It took her 3 years, but she’s back, and better than ever before. She has the “glow” so to speak.
She’s never been very confident in her looks, but recently after losing a good bit of weight, getting a new hairstyle, and new wardrobe, her self confidence is through the roof, and I’m here for it, and I gas her up every opportunity I have. She’s killing it now, and she knows it.
Her and her girlfriend were out to lunch a few days ago, (gf is married to my best friend) and my spouse was telling me that her and her friend thought that their waiter was cute. (I don’t care about that part, IMO even married individuals have the right to think someone is attractive)
So they gossip, talking about the waiter. Girl talk, I assume, and her friend jokes saying, “well if you think he’s cute, leave your number on the receipt”… jokingly…I assume.
So, she does.
They exchange a few texts, and the waiter immediately describes who he wanted the phone number to belong to, and he describes my wife to a T. She shuts him down, telling him that she’s happily married, with a kid, and a husband that takes care of her every need. The waiter comes back, trying to be persistent, but she shuts him down.
She tells me as soon as she gets home, telling the story in the tone of, “oh my gosh, I have something hilarious to tell you”. She shows me the texts, laughing about it, and then confesses to me that it felt good to be recognized by another man. Which I get, honestly. Attention is nice.
The fact of the matter is this. I work shift work. Nights, weekends, holidays. She’s home a lot by herself. That pesky thought in the back of my mind is poking at me, “what if I’m working nights, and she gets bored? What if we have an argument and I’m on the job? What if, what if, what if”. He can obviously continue to reach out to her if he decides. She can block him. She can ignore him. But what if not? What happens then?
I played it off like it didn’t bother me, because it didn’t at the time. The more I got to thinking about it though, it’s began to really bother me. I hate to say anything to her, because it was a confidence booster for her, and I don’t want her thinking it’s a bad thing to feel confident.
I’ve been come onto by women in the past, and told her about it every time. But I’ve never gone as far as giving my number to a woman intentionally, as a joke or not.
Deciding how to approach the situation and tell her my side, has been a challenge for me. One part of me wants to tell her, another part of me wants to do the same to her, and see how she reacts (petty I know)
Sorry for the long post, just wanted to get it off my chest.