u/Frodo_barkings_2

Last night I had an awful nightmare that also just turned weird. Fyi I had a dream with in a dream situation.

1st dream I 'woke' up to find myself inside a coffin, it was absolutely terrifying. I was screaming for help however apart of me stopped for two reasons, I didn't want to loose oxygen but also apart of me wanted to accept my fate and fall asleep and just die. However something in me didn't want to give up so I started tearing at the silk fabric then punching at the wood. Funnily enough I see a hatch from the Inside and opened the coffin. I crawled through the mud only to find myself in hell. I sew Satan all massive and red with the horns basically the stereotypical devil. He had a massive axe. I was terrified but I just closed my eyes and he chopped me in half. I knew if I was in hell what was the point in escaping but I was also very angry and deeply hurt I was even in hell to begin with.

This is where it just got super weird but soon as he chopped me in half I 'woke' up to find myself in the body of another woman. The woman was herself, her own person. She didn't seem aware that I was possession her. I couldn't control her or make myself known, I was just along for the ride. This in itself was somewhat frustrating. The woman was in her 40s and was dating a young doctor in his 20s which I thought was abit odd personally. He seemed incredibly infatuated with or even in love but it felt at first one sided as it felt she was leading him on. Turns out this lady i was inside of was nuts! She would stalk him and was writing stuff like what he wears, eats etc everything. She opens up her diary and it had been going on for years to find out everything about him, where he works, who's his friends/family, his hobbies etc all things to get closer to him and manipulate him. I tried to scream out get away from her she's crazy but its like i didn't exist. She was obsessed with him but her end goal was actually to actually sacrifice him to Satan and it had something because of me. Suddenly she confessed she knew i was inside her all along and needed to kill the man I was supposed to be soul mates with. Honestly this got all too messed up for me and I made myself wake up. I woke up just thinking what the actually F*** what on earth did that all mean!

I can't stop thinking about it.

This is me basically venting but I literally feel so over and done with skincare. I have wasted so much money because its been error after error. Ive tried changing cleanser as i was told my cleanser was the issue but my skin got more clogged and congested using the prequel to the point the congestion was feeling spikey and rough but at least my skin didn't feel tight! Ive tried different moisturisers all cause problems whether its closed comedones, congestion, blackheads, whiteheads, pustles, papules or irritation, rosacea, tightness, dehydration yet oily. Omg im so done!

You should see my bag full of skincare that ain't no good!

I dare not list them because you guys will not read it as its too much to read! You'll forget then suggest me something ive probably already tried.

Yesterday, I cleansed my skin and didn't apply spf ir moisturiser and then last night cleansed again no moisturiser and my skin today the pustles are going! I didn't cleanse this morning and added no spf or moisturiser and more of the pustles have gone.

My skin feels slightly oily and I see dehydration or dryness. But im happy these pustles are going but now i don't know what to do. Do I continue because I really im fed up wasting money on moisturisers. I want to at least use my spf again.

Skincare ive tried

All of cerave products

Dr sam bunting all products

Byoma milky moisturiser

Byoma gel moisturiser

Byoma barrier repair

E45 cica cream

All of la roche posay accept the fluid without sqalane but I think Niacinamide bothers me.

Avene tolerance line

Avene cicalfate

Corsx creams

Vanicream all accept the facial moisturizer with sqalane.

Prequel gleanser

Dermatica gel cleanser

Inky list salicylic acid wash

Inky list ceramide cream

Inky list hydrating serum

The ordinary natural moisturizing factors HA

Soonjung products

Cetaphil cleansers and the hydrating moisturiser

Aveeno calm and restore gel moisturiser and cleanser.

Eurican

Hmmm not sure if ive missed anything out but yeah im so done!!

Has anyone tried avene tolerance hydra 10 fluid or cream? I have rosacea and easily clog with CC's, blackheads and pustles.

I've tried the tolerance soothing cream and baume and broke out in spots that would throb. The old formula never ever did that BTW.

The lemon peel in the tolerance hydra 10 puts me off trying.

Currently have the ordinary natural moisturizing HA but after 48hrs I've woken up with these red sore marks on my right cheek and I can't tell if its rosacea flare or dermatitis.

Im having the worst look finding a safe moisturiser and when I think i have found one i either get clogged pores/ pustles or irritation whether its dermatitis or rosacea. I use to like the original avene tolerance products that got discontinued so I thought I'd try the avene tolerance balm and although it really was soothing, stopped my tight dehydrated skin and redness gone i broke out in normal acne spots that would throb.

I've heard the tolerance hydra 10 is more acne friendly safe but the lemon peel puts me off.

Has anyone tried it?

Im currently on the ordinary natural ha moisturiser and my right cheek has flared up after 48hr of trying it im not sure if im having a reaction but its feeling worse.

I honestly feel like crying but maybe im just being too hormonal (bad pmdd this month)

Started vanicream enhanced moisturiser and within 5 days I felt less tight, less red and no dehydrated skin. However I see some congestion such as blackheads and tiny pustles. Now whether its because of hormones or the cream or both i just don't know anymore. It's been a week now and I don't want to give up just yet incase it because of my period but im actually a nervous wreck to also continue the moisturiser. Im trying ever so hard not to pick at the blackheads and congestion as I don't want to damage my barrier. Im in the UK so seeing a dermatologist is incredibly hard. My gp says its trial and error and also gave me azelaic acid 15% as wasn't sure if my pustles where rosacea related. I've decided tonight to try it but honestly I don't know if its too soon either and wait and see how vanicream goes. I have tried so many moisturisers to heal my barrier that either have made me worse or do nothing.

La roche cicaplast both spray and baume use to be my holy grails but both started stinging, burning, caused more redness and the baume became very drying once new formula came out.

Soonjung 2x barrier used since 2018 but started causing redness, hot sensation and pustles around my mouth (perioral dermatitis?) This began last year in August. But kept continuing because I didn't realise the cream became a new problem. Tried restarting but the pustles around my mouth flared up next morning.

BARR centella calming cream: caused redness and hot sensation in cheeks

Avene tolerance balm: soothed redness but caused me to break out in spots

Byoma barrier repair: caused break out in spots

Corsx ceramides creams tried two of them but both stung.

Cerave cream: broke out

Cerave facial lotion: stung and burnt

Cerave lotion big bottle: used since 2019 as day cream and use to be fine but now causes redness!

E45 cica cream: broke out but did sooth redness and helped wind burn but the spots also felt sore after 2weeks of use.

Inky list ceramide cream: stung me first application was too scared to keep going.

Dr sam bunting light: started off causing congestion but after a month less congestion and fewer blackheads, redness went but after 2nd month started to sting and had pustles along my cheeks that felt stingy and red sore spots that im not sure was dermatitis or rosacea bumps. Gp wasn't sure and gave me azelaic(wasn't using actives) this is when I decided to give vanicream enhanced moisturiser ago.

I have tried others over the years and I've found Niacinamide, sqalane and now centella products causes me issues. Im not sure what else is my trigger as too many ingredients overwhelm me.

I have the ordinary natural moisturizing factors HA.

I was on doxycycline 100mg but had to stop after aweek because it has flared up my fungal folliculitis on my chest and back so gp said stop.

Im actually finding skincare stressful and overwhelming. What use to bring me peace and joy now brings me anxiety and less money in my pocket.