I hate my psychotic disease
RN I have the feeling that I have a post psychotic depression. Again.
I was in a light psychotic state for 2 weeks because I am changing, together with my doc, my medication. I was slightly under medicated and showed symptoms again. Now where my meds go up again I fall back to depression. I had to fight against depression for half a year after my psychotic break. I don't want to do that again.
Why do I have to become depressed from that? I hate it. I l lay in bed all day and can't do anything.
Iam so scared that this shit of psychotic disease doesn't go away. I hoped it would be a one time thing after I had my psychotic break. But it doesn't stop. Next appointment with my doc we will talk again about changing my diagnosis.
Iam scared he will say Schizophrenia. That would mean that I have to endure this shit the rest of my life. I don't want that to be the case.
Ps.: feels good to cry a little and to get it a bit out of my soul.