u/FuggoTheSluggo

I finally got diagnosed with OCD this week and was started on medication for it! I say finally because for the past 20 odd years I’ve been diagnosed with cut and dry anxiety that SSRI’s wouldn’t touch. Speaking with my new psychiatrist about my symptoms she helped me realize that all the “quirks” I had when I was a kid that annoyed the hell out of my parents was OCD! Fear of going to hell? OCD. Fear of having my family murdered? OCD. Questioning my gender and sexuality since high school? OCD. Checking myself into a psych ER because I was afraid I was going to hurt myself? *OCD*. And many, many others of course.

Part of me is relieved - I am so happy to hear that this incredible anxiety I’ve been carrying is not just regular anxiety. I finally feel like someone is actually hearing me and throwing a life ring out to me.

Part of me is also incredibly sad for the kid self that grew up thinking this was all normal - that the world was really out to get me and my loved ones, that I was a evil person. And another part of me is also furious that out of all the adults in my early life, and all the therapists and PCP’s I’ve had over the years that no one could see what this was, despite the fact that it seems so freaking obvious now.

To their credit, I also had no idea that my struggles could be OCD up until a month ago when I rage posted on r/anxiety and a few people mentioned that what I was describing sounded like OCD.

Since I’ve started exploring ways to help myself I’ve talked with friends about it. And much to my surprise, like 5 of my close friends also have OCD, some much different than my own but some also incredibly similar. I have never felt less alone in my life.

Has anyone had luck getting approved without a depression diagnosis?

I finally have a diagnosis - it feels like a weight has been lifted