u/Full_Tumbleweed9238

this is an incredibly long story but i’ll try to make it short. we are exclusive, i have met his friends, he’s met my parents, we talk about moving together (which at this point i don’t even want to do). he’s even mentioned how when he talks to his family about me they all say “oh she’s just your girlfriend” so to the rest of the world that’s what we are. but not to him. he’s made some big stink out of the fact that he likes to make it a big deal when he asks someone to be his gf and he doesn’t want to just say “oh btw ur my gf”. as if i gaf. we’ve talked about it extensively but it never makes sense to me. mind you he said he wanted a long term relationship when we first met. that he didn’t want some weird situationship either. he describes me as his “lady” but i don’t like it.

it shouldn’t bother me as on paper i have what i want from him. but the fact that he knows how many painful situationships ive been in and how i stated up front that i want to be someone’s girlfriend, i NEED to have that and somehow he keeps convincing me it doesn’t matter or that it’s okay that im not. im just fucking exhausted. he’s so emotionally unavailable and inconsistent, i have a chronic illness that he is very critical of how i handle, very critical of me in general. i feel drained but i can’t leave. i graduated college and moved back home and i have no one here but him. i’m so alone. i’m so scared of being more alone. but i dread seeing him, i dread what he’s going to misread, dread what he’s going to say. and then we get better for a while and i feel better. and it falls apart again. he’s never physically abusive but he can be coercive about pushing my limits physically. everyone in my life says i should just drop him. there’s a significant sunk cost fallacy happening to me with him, that i have put so much time into this godawful relationship hoping one day he might give me what i want.

i lived my last eight years being a recovery center for incels, short guys, tall guys, ugly mfs, attractive men, virgins, fuckboys, i have run the gambit entirely. and what have i gotten? being raped three times and getting dumped anyway. and every single one acts the same. every single one sees me exactly the same way, i’m subhuman im a woman before im a person. i’m too much, i’m too much of a whore, i’m not “girlfriend” material. just because you think yourself and incels share a common ground you don’t at all. they will never understand because their hate comes from frustration over not getting what they think they deserve and yours comes from simply observing the fucking world around you. does the world treat attractive people better? no fucking shit it does. it’s so shocking to me when incels spout this on the internet like they just discovered this. it’s pathetic how small their minds are.