I need advice.
my girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up 5 days ago and yes it was my fault I was toxic and I have no excuses for that. but 3 years ago she was the toxic one and we went on a break and she went and kissed somebody. I let her come back because I trusted she would change. I became insecure about nightclubs and guy friends stuff like that because she always use to text boys. anyway she broke up with me because I would be concerned about her going to clubs and being friends with boys. and then 2 days ago she goes to a nightclub with her friends and people from her class. she starts texting me this morning and last night after not texting me much at all since we broke up. She started sending me photos and all this stuff of her with her friends and I notice she send me a vid of her rubbing her head against this one guy in her classes chest. Then she send me another picture of them where she was like oh we’d look so good together wouldn’t we. So I asked did you kiss him. To which she said yes. I was heartbroken not even mad at her and she started saying I deserved it for how I treated her and all this. She is telling me she doesn’t want that friend of hers and they agreed to stay friends. I’m going crazy over this thinking I should take her back. I don’t feel like I deserved what happenned as I already expressed to her many years ago the first time she did it that it really hurt me and it took a lot from me to take her back and trust her. and she is also saying it’s ok because we were broke up Which I guess is fair enough but she can’t excuse what she did. We were broken up 3 days she was saying we still have a chance in the future. I really don’t think I can take her back even tho she has my full heart still. She embarressed me and she just hurt me very deeply. I know those feelings didn’t come out of nowhere either but she won’t admit she ever had any feelings for him and said she did it because she was mad.