u/Fun-Percentage5025

I def handled my MIL in the best way possible & did not take her shit. Here’s my original post if you are curious: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/bdsIYoikkn

I can’t help but feel somewhat defeated and finding myself second guessing myself about the fact that all this happened in the first place. I’m thankful for my wonderful supportive husband, but in my love for him I sometimes feel like “damn, I wouldn’t ever imagine a time where he would have to deal w/ this shit”.

Could use some words of encouragement! I’m planning to discuss these hot/cold feelings with my therapist too!

Do know - despite how I feel, I do not cave lol probs cause all of the Virgo in my chart? Idk but that won’t be happening lol

Do we have to only work on projects that are aligned with the hub/alignment we are assigned too? Will that be an issue long term?

I genuinely cannot tell if my MIL wants accountability or just attention lol
For context: my husband and I are expecting our first baby, and MIL has had ongoing issues with me for quite some time—despite also having a strained relationship with her other daughter-in-law, who is 20 years older than me. So at some point, you start realizing maybe you aren’t the common denominator.
One of the biggest moments for me happened two weeks after we told her I was pregnant. She said to my husband on a phone call:
“I hope the baby doesn’t have autism or ADHD… you know, given the family history.”
My brother is autistic.
That comment alone was enough for me to permanently view her differently.
Fast forward to our January blow-up. I addressed several specific events that had built resentment over time.
Every single time I brought up specifics, her response was some version of “I don’t recall.”
At one point, yes, I said she was “fucking lying” because frankly, that is exactly what it felt like. Being repeatedly invalidated while someone pretends major hurtful moments never happened will push anyone there.
Now she has sent me a novel-length text explaining why she wants “no contact,” how confrontation is apparently something I “take pride in,” and how I need to apologize for my tone.
Meanwhile, she completely skips over the actual reasons I was upset in the first place.
She also included weird commentary about how she financially bailed out her other children and how much they need her… which honestly told me more than she probably intended.
Apparently I’m the villain because I refuse to be a punching bag and because I won’t apologize for reacting to repeated disrespect.
I told her if she had picked up the phone and called me woman-to-woman like she expects everyone else to do, she probably would have gotten an apology. Instead, she chose passive-aggressive social media antics, dramatics over baby shower invites she already knew about, and a giant text message manifesto.
She is 40 years older than me and somehow less emotionally mature.
At this point, I’m pregnant, protecting my peace, and no longer interested in chasing relationships with people committed to being offended.
I’ll try to attach the screenshots in comments.

Update: THANKS YALL!!!!! My girls 🥹 I appreciate these responses. I tried my best to post the text convo pics but looks like we don’t have that as an option in this group? Just know that what I said in this post is effectively what she got in the response. I confirmed no contact and no relationship will be had! RAGGEDY OLE LADY