how do i (F20) ask my “boyfriend” (M23) to break up if he’s not letting me do it?
I (F20) have an issue with my “boyfriend” (M23). I’ve known him for about 3 years, i live in Europe and he lives in America. Since the very beginning he was very obsessive towards me but i’ve never minded it since i was extremely lonely and wanted a best friend who will give me a lot of attention and spend time with me. The problem started when after a few months he basically assumed that we’re in a relationship without even asking me about it. We had a talk about it and i kinda forgot about this whole situation but he was always treating me as more than just a friend, but as i said i was very lonely and lost so i didn’t mind it and i was also treating him as something more because i didn’t want to lose him and i genuinely felt like maybe we could be something more than just friends. He never officially asked me to be in a relationship, but a few months ago i started having doubts that a long distance relationship may be too much for me because i can’t get as attached to him as he is to me since we can’t currently actually meet and see each other in real life. I tried to talk to him about it and that’s where the whole problem starts. Instead of trying to understand my perspective he immediately started getting mad, saying that i’m “throwing him away”, that i used him (because he was always insisting on buying me gifts and even though i was always refusing after some time he was asking so many times that i just started agreeing, which i still feel guilty for), that i did all of this just to make fun of him and threatened to hurt himself. Obviously it’s the last thing i’d ever want so i told him that it’s okay and we can try again, but then every time i try to bring up how i’d rather be just friends he does the same thing. It happened again today and i’m just helpless and tired of the same situation constantly repeating. I don’t really know any of his friends or family social media accounts so i can’t even text them to look out for him “just in case”. I need advice on how to talk to him and how to explain my feelings without having him immediately get mad, upset and threaten me.
tl;dr : How do i explain that i’d rather be just friends to someone who immediately assume that i’m just “throwing him away” and start threatening me to hurt himself over my decision?