u/Future-Reason257

Our toddler will be 3 the coming Jan.
First off, I wanted to potty train her as soon as she turned 2, but I got pregnant and had HG hence it never happened. But she started pretend playing by herself since she turned 2, she would stop whatever she is doing, go to a corner, pretend to pee-wipe-flush-hand wash and get back to her “work”.

After having the baby in July, there were 2 attempts to train her but she resisted, I had repeat mastitis and was too tired to even try more so I let it be.

Fast forward to now, a week ago one day when she woke up, I removed her diaper and put her on the toilet to pee, she did the whole routine. I prepped her the night before and said we would start training from tomorrow and she would get one chocolate chip every time she went. The day went as planned without any accidents. Of course I started putting her on the toilet every 40 mins so maybe that helped. She did not poop that day. Put on training pants only at night.

The next day she wanted to poop as soon as she woke up but resisted, I carried her there and showed her a 2 min potty training rhyme as she pooped. Went well. She started telling me when she needs to pee throughout the day. Third day, she did have one poop accident but she continued telling us when she needed to pee.
It has been a week now and she is fully trained since day 4, resists sometimes but does not throw a fit, when she resists I do not give in, carry her to the toilet as she screams and she knows she no longer has the choice of using a diaper. She calms down once she is on the toilet and actually enjoys that time, gives me all her park gossip and asks me about all the soaps and shampoos she sees in the bathroom.

Last night although she had her training pants on, she woke me in the middle of the having to pee and I was pleasantly surprised. She is completely trained now.

Few tips which I think worked for us -

1. Do not give in if they resist unless it is a really bad meltdown, put them on the toilet and start talking to them, whatever story/song/question distracts them.
2. Keep reminding them through out the day that they need to pee, do not use training pants during the day.
3. Dont make accidents a big deal, dont tell anyone they had an accident.
4. Give them a kiss every-time they go and tell them how brave they are, how smart they are to have learnt so fast.
5. Spend a lot of time with them throughout the day during the first few days. I had my mom help with the baby and spent all my time with the toddler.
6. Be very patient, never loose your cool, be firm but never angry or frustrated.
7. You know your kid best, ignore any advice that does not fit your situation and remember every kid is different, they take their own time, some might just need more help. Do not stress yourself out if things do not go as planned.

Also, I am a SAHM so did this by myself, I heard that teachers train them at daycares and Montessoris and that works well too. Hope this post helps some of you all.

3 weeks postpartum..

Had 2 back to back pregnancies, both with hypermesis. Now raising a 2 year old and 3 week old. Have a supportive partner and family to help me.

This last pregnancy was a horror show, had strep, covid, all with extreme symptoms. I was extremely exhausted and depleted, could not handle my toddler.

During the last trimester, I remember thinking how nice it would be if I died in an accident and I can escape from all this.

Was hospitalized 2 weeks PP due to breast abscess and mastitis. The overnight nurse put in my IV wrong and inspite of me complaining of severe pain, she pushed fluids and antibiotics through the same IV the whole night and my arm was swollen big by morning, I cried the whole night due to pain. I am so terrified of hospitals now, scared to even visit my obgyn for the 4 week checkup. I keep thinking what if a kid or someone older has a nurse like her, I cry all the time thinking what if my kids or husband or parents experience this.

My baby is not gaining weight, I breast feed and also supplement with formula. She did gain her birth weight by her 1 week appointment but nothing much after that. Likely my supply tanked due to infection and I feel like a failed mom. I had like one thing to do and could not do even that properly.

Baby crying or toddler throwing a tantrum in causing extreme anxiety, and also so much rage! Don’t know what to do. I feel so sad for both my babies that they have to deal with me. I did not potty train my toddler yet and she is so ready, I dont have time to even read to her or even engage with her, she misses me and I miss her.

Lost my appetite completely, the very thought of food makes me so nauseas. Basically I am constantly scared, anxious and want to curl up into a ball and just cry all the time. Also, I feel like I cannot trust my own mind for some reason, like something wrong is happening and I am failing to notice it.

I am unable to wake up at night, or in the morning. My husband has to wake me and keep talking to me while I feed the baby. It is so difficult to stay awake.

How do I push through all this?

Please tell me this is normal. I have a 2 year old and currently 8 months pregnant. I have been a SAHM since I gave birth. These days I get so exhausted by 5 PM and husband takes over as soon as he gets back from work, now the problem is I cannot rest or enjoy my alone time. I start watching a show or relaxing and in 10 mins I miss my toddler so much that I go back to her. I actually start sobbing if they go to the park because I miss her. I spend all my alone time watching her old pictures and videos.
Am I going crazy? It’s like I cannot play with her all day cause I am constantly tired but miss her the minute she goes away from me.