u/FutureFuzzy1952

Hi!
Where I live, fertility treatment is very strict. PGT-A isn’t allowed, only one embryo can be transferred at a time, and until now my clinic has mainly told me to keep transferring embryos instead of investigating further, despite my endometriosis/suspected adenomyosis and a larger subserosal fibroid.

After many failed attempts, they’ve finally started questioning whether my uterus could be the issue. I was referred to a specialist who recommended laparoscopic removal of the fibroid and excision of any endometriosis at the same time. I’m frustrated it took this long, but relieved that I’m finally being listened to.

My plan is to do the surgery and then suppression during recovery. But my dilemma is this: what if I do three months of suppression and the embryo transferred afterward turns out to be aneuploid? Since embryo testing isn’t allowed here, would I need another three months of suppression before trying the next embryo, or does the effect of suppression usually last long enough to “allow” another transfer if the first one fails?

I was recommended by a doctor to remove a larger fibroid, which might be one reason for our many failed attempts so far (4 complete failures, 2 MMCs) I feel very stressed because of my age, and we’re currently doing embryo banking to collect more embryos before moving forward with surgery.

I also have endometriosis (and some adenomyosis), which they will hopefully remove during the operation, at least the endo since adenomyosis is tricky. One of my biggest worries is the long recovery time after a laparoscopy. I’ve heard it can take up to six months, and since I’m 39, I feel a lot of pressure with time ticking.

We currently have four embryos frozen, and we plan to do one or two more egg retrievals before any surgery. For anyone who has had this surgery: how long did it take you to recover? Did the laparoscopy help, and were you successful afterwards?
I’m also considering suppression treatment, and I’m wondering if I could use the healing time for that so I wouldn’t have to wait six months and then do another three months of suppression afterward. It’s all so exhausting when it feels like time is constantly running out.

I deal with general anxiety and it gets especially bad at work. I believe it’s tied to social anxiety too, like constantly worrying I’m not doing good enough, or that I’m going to mess up and get “yelled at” for it.

It’s kind of affecting me in small ways all the time. Every little thing I say or ask, I overthink and worry someone’s going to snap at me. And I tend to feel smaller and smaller due to this ridiculous fear.. I feel like my reactions have been a bit over the top for a while now, and honestly I’m just so damn exhausted.

Anyone else feel like this?

I’ve been wondering if maybe trying a low dose SSRI could help stop my thoughts from spiraling so much.