u/Fuzzy_Beat1960

I worked at an outback in Baton Rouge and left recently, and it was genuinely so bad I think everyone needs to be fired. I don’t want to be identified to the store or the people who worked there as I fear retaliation if they say I reported them. But it’s serious.

-Managers sleeping with/flirting with servers
-Managers going out to bars with servers and taking drunk ones home
- Managers buying hard drugs from/smoking weed with regular employees on the clock outside in the back
-Managers punishing people they didn’t like/complained about conditions with less hours
-Managers messing with timesheets (one guy in the kitchen was guaranteed to be clocked in for 40 hours no matter what he actually worked as long as he came in when they called him, he told me once) (and clocking us out at close/30 mins after even if we were later closing)
- All employees allowed to hit vapes/weed pens in the kitchen on the expo line
-Multiple employees freely allowed to take things from the store (free alcohol/food/gloves) (some even called it grocery shopping and came with plastic bags)
-Managers openly drinking during the shift (pouring drinks into foam cups from behind the bar, not even bringing in their own) and getting so drunk they stop being functional
- Managers giving/having swipe cards taken by bartenders who then openly comp off tickets paid in cash to keep all of it when they don’t think they made enough (Bartenders bragged about this & making 2,500 a month or even more, buying brand new vehicles etc)
-Bartenders also did this for servers they liked
-Bartenders and managers serving underaged customers and employees they liked/knew frequently (one of our SAs was 19/20 and they made her drinks before they all went out all the time)
-Employees so drunk/high they overdosed or spoke complete gibberish and caused 50+ min tickets
-Hosts so high and hitting weed pens that customers complained after I got to their tables
- GM so drunk sometimes he was useless and employees had to manage issues themselves
-tip adjustments (two bussers working, if they thought one worked harder they’d change the tip share and give one busser $80 and the other $20)
-Going into the building after hours (after they would go out sometimes they joked about how they used to unlock the doors and go back inside for stuff at 3am)
- So much stealing basically

I don’t want to talk to HR but I want someone to know, so how can i address this above the GM store level. He knows and he’s fine with everything so I just don’t want him to be able to sweep everything under the rug. And obviously all the employees make so much money they don’t care and they’ll protect each other. Somebody just needs to watch the cameras and see what’s going on. Something has to be done before someone is genuinely hurt, or if someone decides to look into the theft and everybody gets together to blame one person and scapegoats them when it is everyone there. I think it’d be horrible and a lot of the actually good employees suffer heavily because all the worst ones are all friends and they’re the ones acting like that.

(Posted on behalf of a friend)

BACKGROUND: This is some relationship context and stuff that I think has kind of led to me feeling this way about this situation. TLDR at the bottom

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over 2 years now. The first year was absolutely perfect, and now that we’re in the second, I can see why most people break up about now. Transitioning from casual lovers to domestic life partners is definitely not the easiest in some aspects.

I don’t say that to imply we fight a lot though, it’s moreso just that we are beginning to see the various faults we’d overlooked and are just adjusting to living together, not just hanging out getting drunk and having sex all the time. Actually living life with each other is perfect, our values align, we want similar futures, and I love just being with her. It’s basically just the old quit leaving your clothes on the floor and you never finish your drinks and leave your cups everywhere fights everybody has eventually.

We’ve also been through a rough year together too, from a rushed move, outgrowing old friends, income struggles due to one of our jobs closing down, and general depression, a couple job switches, family issues, and more. It’s been tough for sure, but she’s really great and I’m down to stick by her side through it as long as she’ll let me. I can tell it isn’t the same as the OG honeymoon period, even though she’d tell you something cute and corny like oh every day with him is just sunshine and rainbows.

We haven’t really been sleeping together, we’ve both just kind of settled into a thing where she’s comfortable enough to not force herself to sleep with me after bad ex’s made her do stuff like that, and dealing with that trauma understandably makes that kind of thing hard. Also just exhaustion from our 10+ hours workdays that follow us home, physical pain issues from our jobs, and sometimes workday hours that are complete opposites. I try not to bother her with it and handle myself because why would I make my girlfriend feel like garbage all the time? I can manage myself, but it definitely has taken its toll on my self esteem and confidence. It’s also led me to be, I think understandably, more insecure about the state of our relationship and whether or not she’s actually attracted to me.

THE ACTUAL PROBLEM:

My girlfriend started a new job in the city we moved to at the beginning of this year. She’s doing a lot better than she was during the middle of last year, and seems to be starting to come out of the funk she’s been in. Outgrowing her old friends and deciding she was done going out every weekend and living in constant drama left her with very few to talk to and hang with, so I was happy when she started her new work and started making friends with her new coworkers.

At first it seemed normal, just laughing about the new personalities, meeting an old subordinate of hers she’s in charge of again, and exchanging contacts with her new coworkers.

Now, there’s 2 very important details here, my girlfriend likes women as well, and my girlfriend is an absolute bombshell of a lady. She also very much so appears as if she does like women, and people often comment on how weird it is she has a boyfriend when she tells them about me.

When we get home every day, we tell each other in great detail about our days. She often has to write detailing about her crew and general notes for the next shift after she gets home, and I’m a fast typer and better at spelling, so she often dictates and I type, so I know a lot about what’s going on at work. I started hearing more and more about this girl she works with.

I had heard about her a few times, how she told my girlfriend she was pretty, joked about if me and my girlfriend were serious or not, and played about stealing her away, but I soon realized this girl definitely had a crush on my girlfriend. I had just chalked it up to a funny coworker, nothing to worry about, I trust my girlfriend.

But soon, I started to get increasingly concerned about their closeness. More and more texts back and forth, more and more calls, hangouts I was told wouldn’t happen that did. To be fair, I’ve never been lied to, my girlfriend always told me when they were hanging out, but I’m not sure why they are. My girlfriend is a higher up in her company, and this girl is a step below her, so they’re not allowed to have a romantic relationship for sure, but I had thought hanging out outside of work was prohibited as well.

I wasn’t super concerned about that until I met the girl. We met up one night, so I could meet her and we could all hopefully be friends. I saw something weird immediately. When it would get quiet, I could just see this unspoken tension between them. It just felt off. The way they looked at each other didn’t feel just friendly. The coworker is really cool, and I like her, which almost makes it worse.

Now, over the past few months, it feels like it’s escalated so quickly and I think we’re getting towards emotional affair territory. I had to put a stop to matching tattoos. Who gets matching tattoos with someone they just met? Didn’t even ask if I’d be cool with it, just said they were going to in front of me and I said wtf? I wouldn’t care with any of my girlfriend’s friends I already know but I don’t trust this one. They tend to get dinner after work, and instead of calling me on her way home lol she used to my girlfriend calls the coworker. They FaceTime all the time. They Snapchat all the time, so there isnt any record of their messages either. Constant snapchats. They tell each other they love each other. They’re like best friends. It’s weird. There’s a ton of reasonable ways to explain everything individually but I just keep looking at the whole picture.

She spent more on this girls birthday than she spent on our Christmas. Took her out for a whole day of events where she paid for everything in advance. We were really poor for Christmas right after our move and starting new jobs but I don’t know, I felt kind of uncomfortable about how much it seems like she prioritizes her friend. It isn’t about the stuff, but I just feel like by the time we get to my birthday I’ll probably have to choose what we do and nobody likes when I do that. I’ll have to spell out what kind of gifts I want. She feels even less sexually interested in me, and I already knew she used to say I was her one exception to being a lesbian but I’m not sure if it works like that either.

It isn’t like the sex stuff was because I was bad, I’m the first person to ever make her finish (I think, that’s what I was told) and she used to let me take care of just her for upwards of an hour, so I don’t think I’d be allowed that if it wasn’t good. I’m good at using my hands and toys so it wasn’t for lack of knowing I can’t do all the work either. She just seemed to stop looking at me like she was attracted to me. She says she is, and it’s just her mental health but idk if I believe it. I mostly just think I’m ugly.

What do you think about the situation? What would be a reasonable way to approach a conversation about their closeness? What can I say or do to keep her from seemingly falling in love with her coworker?

We’ve had a conversation about it where she reassured me she was just really excited to have a new friend, so could that be the cause of all this? I just have a bad feeling and I can’t stop thinking this is how I lose my girlfriend. I feel like a stepping stone, but I think that’s my insecurities talking.

TLDR; Girlfriend has a new friend, relationship has gotten extremely close very quickly, and it feels as if boundaries and lines are being approached at Mach speed. Worried about losing my girlfriend to her new friend. Not sure if I’m being insecure.