Being an unemployed indian
(Apologies, English isn't my first language.)
This is my story of me getting depressed each and everyday due to being a guy who is unemployed and an Indian.
I got my first job in a big company as an engineer with a salary of 8+ LPA. I was very happy and surprised at the same time. Cause all of friends are yet to have a job or the ones who got a job were not having the same package...
Little did I know that this company is going to be hell for me.
At first 3 months (learning period) everything was great, coming back from office on time, seniors helping me to learn, was making some friends and all. Until one day I was assigned to a task which is on site. With no knowledge transfer of that particular project. But just for curiosity I was excited to learn from this project.
When I went I realised this was one of the big project they just handed me over because the guy who was supposed to do it has resigned(now I know why).
I tried to do my best. Staying on site from 10 hrs to 15hr everyday. Sometimes working on Sunday. My mind was done that time. At last after coming back from the site after 4 months, for one month I was having a little bit of peace but that time also mostly seniors started questioning me about the mistakes I made on site due to the lack of knowledge I had of that project. I realised that the package came with the cost of my mental and physical peace. I gained weight at that time, I don't know even when I was trying to lose the weight, I gained more. Then they gave another project site and so on till I just gave up on the 7th site.
Now I have been working for this company for the last 1.9 years and continuously trying to learn and improve from my mistakes. But I was not able to comprehend why all the things have to be done by me only. They say that, 'you are hardworking so expect more from you.' and with this statement they keep you hanging with the guilt.
Now at this point I have resigned without any offer letter in my hand with the notice period of 2 months. And I have resigned 1 months ago. Now I am left with 1 month only. For the last one month I was continuously applying for the job which can atleast match my current package. But the only thing that I got was ghost calls, cold replies.
With the most common replies like:
Your package is too high for the experience you have.
We don't have that budget.
We want immediate joiners.
I am so fed up at this point, that the confidence that had in me whatever of it was left, is gone. I feel like I made a bad decision leaving this organisation.
Was I supposed to keep working from 9 to 10?, was I supposed to stay quiet when they were tearing down the self respect that I had, was I supposed to stay in the same toxic culture?...
As an Indian, I feel like the corporate field of this country needs to be changed , it needs to be improved for the people, for this country or the youth of country won't have any will to do the job in my country.
I am confused, depressed and under confident!!!!