u/Gabelicious18

She said love is a feeling, it's out of your control
How can it be so simple, how do people grow old-
And never fall out of love?
You have to choose at some point right?
Or can love genuinely fit like a glove?
Can you find that person that never makes you doubt?
Can you love someone so hard it's like dancing on clouds?
All the time? Forever? Day in,day out?
A love unwavering, even in angry bouts?
A blood kind of love, always there.
On your darkest nights and see in despair.
No doubting or wondering, just knowing and loving,
You through it all, a genuine testing
Of life as it comes, together a team
In love, there's no thoughts to be mean.
Always uplifting, no one can get between.
Bad days grow bonds, not resentment
Fights aren't loud, a respectful commitment
That's the part you choose in love!
The way you treat each other and how you show up!
Perhaps it's obvious that you can't force love
For me, I thought just choosing was enough.
It's a visceral awakening when that feeling leaves.
Maybe not all at once but eventually
You become something you don't recognize
Something you can never unsee.
You actions have spoken, your body pulls away.
How can you treat someone you love that way?
The feeling is gone, it's a disservice to stay.
Choosing is no longer an option, now reality is knocking.
Emotions are flying, everything's a blur
You can't let this turn you into a monster.
Please just don't stay, you'll prolong the pain.
I know it's more comfortable than to face the shame.
But this isn't right and that feeling won't fade.
Please stop trying to convince me to stay!
I can't take it anymore, I can't keep hurting you, I want us both to find a love that's bulletproof.
This might be a mistake or a blessing in disguise, but we won't know if I don't try.
I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have, can we just move and learn from our past?
This pain is killer, but it's not worth dying for.
We will get through it, starting on the ground floor.
We may not end up together,
But I sincerely hope our next match is better.

Has anyone had experience with a break in a relationship for self growth with distance?

I'm quite gutted about leaving a man that has all the potential but consistently chooses to get comfortable and stop progress as soon as he feels like we're good. He doesn't initiate the work or conversations until after ive decided to leave or that maybe it's not working or we're not compatible.

I've left a few times. I know he doesn't feel completely safe with how much I've left and I can't blame him because I wouldn't feel safe either. What I can't believe is just how in love with me he is. So much that he is proposing I quit my job so I can stay and we have more time together to help us rebuild our relationship. It's the dynamic we both want endgame.

However I miss my family and I'm several states away and maybe I'm using that as an excuse to leave but I feel like I need to leave again. I'm already starting to set things in motion. But now he's begging again and he's not a bad guy it's just the same conflict cycle repeating that I'm afraid of because nothing changes on both sides. We've done therapy and all that jazz but it's just not enough. I need him to independently start digging into his past to understand himself and he just chooses not to. I have fallen out of love with him and I've told him that. He just wants me to stay.

In the emotion of a conversation we said maybe in 6 months we can try again after we work on ourselves or something but I don't want to keep leading him on and I'm not sure if it's a good idea to put it out there like that. I can't guarantee that I'll want to try again in 6 months. And hell maybe he'll realize that he deserves someone that doesn't want to leave as much as I did.

I'm feeling guilty about leaving something that's extremely good on paper but misses me emotionally. I know that our relationship is young and there's a lot to learn even with a potential new partner. He keeps talking me back and it's getting harder to leave. I have so much love and care for him and I don't want to hurt him. I want to believe that one day we could be great but I don't want to string him along any longer.

I'm leaving at the end of the month. I'm worried I'm making the biggest mistake of my life and throwing out the future we started to build. Despite everything our families were ready to accept each other. So that's an extra weight on the situation too.

Any advice???