u/Gaijin_from_afar00

I am a 27 year old Pakistani man currently living and working in Tokyo.

I was born into a Sunni household but have been irreligious since my teenage years. My worldview is secular and left leaning, and I try to live a life grounded in ethics and humanism rather than religion. I drink socially, occasionally smoke, read a lot of economics and ethical philosophy, and I care deeply about building a meaningful life both professionally and personally.

Over the past few years I have been in a few relationships, but they all seemed to struggle once religion became a serious topic. Even when things are going well, the fact that I am openly irreligious eventually becomes a deal breaker. In our part of the world, that still carries a lot of weight.

I have also tried dating outside my cultural background, including non Asian women, and while those experiences were positive in many ways, I have realized that I tend to connect more deeply with women who share some level of South Asian cultural context. There is a familiarity in values, family dynamics, humor, and lived experience that matters to me more than I initially expected.
I feel ready to settle down with someone and build something stable and long term. I am affectionate, emotionally available, and serious about partnership. But finding someone from a similar cultural background who is also irreligious and wants something long term has proven harder than I expected.

For those of you from South Asian backgrounds, especially Pakistan or India, how have you navigated dating and marriage as an ex Muslim? Did you find it easier outside your home country? Did you end up with someone from a similar background or a completely different one?

I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences or advice. It can feel isolating at times, and I am curious how others here have approached this stage of life.

I am a 27 year old South Asian man currently living and working in Tokyo.

I was born into a Sunni household but have been irreligious since my teenage years. My worldview is secular and left leaning, and I try to live a life grounded in ethics and humanism rather than religion. I read a lot of economics and ethical philosophy, and I care deeply about building a meaningful life both professionally and personally.
Over the past few years I have been in a few relationships, but they all seemed to struggle once religion became a serious topic. Even when things are going well, the fact that I am openly irreligious eventually becomes a deal breaker. In our part of the world, that still carries a lot of weight.
I have also tried dating outside my cultural background, including non Asian women, and while those experiences were positive in many ways, I have realized that I tend to connect more deeply with women who share some level of South Asian cultural context. There is a familiarity in values, family dynamics, humor, and lived experience that matters to me more than I initially expected.
I feel ready to settle down with someone and build something stable and long term. I am affectionate, emotionally available, and serious about partnership. But finding someone from a similar cultural background who is also irreligious and wants something long term has proven harder than I expected.
For those of you from South Asian backgrounds, especially Pakistan or India, how have you navigated dating and marriage as an ex Muslim? Did you find it easier outside your home country? Did you end up with someone from a similar background or a completely different one?
I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences or advice. It can feel isolating at times, and I am curious how others here have approached this stage of life.