FTM 26wks + 2 and BURNT tf out already. When did you guys stop working? Because I’m making a fool of myself out here.
Like the title says, I’m only 26 weeks but I am losing my ability to function in the work place. I’m a high value consultant and I am expected to perform, I get my work based on reputation, accolades and word of mouth. I have no paid or subsidized mat leave and I don’t have a guaranteed contract upon my return to work. (Though I am not concerned about my ability to pick up where I left off) The problem is that I genuinely feel like I’m 20% of the person I was before I was pregnant and I have so much guilt for underperforming.
I CRIED in a boardroom meeting last week. My nipples are already leaking through my bra. I can’t walk from meeting to meeting anymore and I basically have to tap out at 1:00 to sleep. My brain just will not perform, will not focus. (I’ve also been off my ADHD meds since I found out about the pregnancy, and it’s been extremely challenging the whole time, but now it just feels impossible).
I’m missing deadlines, doing the bare minimum and coasting as much as possible, but they pay me way too much for me to be doing this and I can’t bare the thought of anyone thinking I “wasn’t worth the cost”
I’d be giving up 6 figures over the next 3 months if I go on mat leave early, but our financials would be “fine” Everything that I make in the next 3 months would be for savings, spending and maybe some travel with my husband and baby while off work.
For those of you that had the option of when to stop, how long did you push yourself? I’m scared that my lack of performance is going to impact my reputation when I come back to work after mat leave, but I’d be walking away from a lot of income.