u/GazelleOwn9168

so i have a best friend whom i met randomly. i love to spend time with that person, i love to laugh at that person's jokes, love to talk with that person all day no matter what’s happening. and i did.

like if that person just messages me like “hey lets watch something”, or “i wanna watch this movie”, or “i wanna make this project”, “i wanna do this”, “i wanna do that” honestly, i never cared how busy i was. i just saw “ok!!” and came to be with that person, no matter what happened.

even by cancelling important meetings, rejecting phone calls of others, sometimes ignoring my parents, in high fever, or maybe after hurting my legs in gym. that person comes in my top priority.

i know people are gonna say “why bro, u shouldn’t blah blah” but honestly i dont have many friends from childhood. im introvert till date, and best friend? maybe one-sided, cause they never framed me as their best friend. maybe i have a curse or something.

anyways, if i frame someone as my best friend, then im sacrificing all my time, mind, everything for them. in return i just wish that someday someone can also treat me that way, or maybe also frame me as their best friend, or maybe just put a hand on my shoulder to show their presence all the time. that’s my wish.

but i never got that in return. i cant find anyone who shows that soft corner for me. i never found someone who also waits for me like i did, for hours. i never found that hand on my shoulder. maybe im asking for too much ig...

u know, sometimes when i feel too alone and willing to share something, maybe i never get the reaction i want. sometimes u become emotionally weak, and people can uplift u by showing that they trust u, not by saying “why are u like that”.

yes im weak maybe only in front of that person. as i told, im introvert and a private person, i cant show emotions easily.

there are so many things that made me feel dishearted. every time i tell myself things like “maybe that person is busy”, “maybe forgot”, “maybe doesnt wanna”, “just normal things” but i never truly take it that way.

recently there was something time-sensitive, u can say like an exam or important event. i told that person to help me cause that person only told me like “i will help u, i will come and help”.

but on the first day, even after reminding, that person never came. on the second day, that person completely ignored it. and on the third day also i missed it cause i was waiting for that person, but that person never came.

i kept waiting. the deadline passed cause i hoped that person would come and help me. but yeah, i missed that event.

there are conversations about that topic. i waited like a fool for hours and hours. idk what should even be my reaction.

and im not fragile if u say maybe that person forgot. NO. how can they? before those event days i kept reminding and got assurance that that person would come and help me.

its not just these 3 times, there are so many moments like this. im forgetting all those now, but idk... im feeling like: “if u gave 2 rotis to some beggar, they will be the happiest. but if u gave a chicken pizza to someone who already has 500 rupees in their pocket to buy any food they like, they will never enjoy ur pizza”...