u/Gdog4423

I'm a guy in highschool and everyday it gets a little harder to keep holding on to what I don't love. Everything keeps going wrong in my life it feels and I'm just angry at everything and everyone to the point where I'm hurting people around me because of it. I'm empty with nothing inside but a heart that feels too heavy to carry around any longer. I'm feeling weak and missing parts that aren't recoverable. So tonight, I'm gonna schedule messages to send out to some of my closest friends and try and overdose on pills.

To give a little context, I'm in high school and I'm not the happiest camper. I see a social worker and counselor cause I said I had bad suicidal thoughts one day and they made me go to a psych clinic, blah blah blah. So there's this girl who we both liked each other a lot and out of nowhere I just ghosted her because I was overthinking things. It makes me angry at myself just to think about it. 2 and a half months later and I'm pretty sure she still likes me so I tried to talk to her again and it made me sick to my stomach. Every time I think about this girl (which is very often) I get angry and it's like seething anger. I've only ever felt this angry when crying bad before. Every thought just makes me angry at myself for the way I've been treating her, and maybe slightly angry at her and I don't know why. I just need a way to healthily manage this without it affecting my already deteriorating mental state. Thanks