u/Gen_Mxrdur

I don’t know where to turn for advice on this topic so I’m just going to relay my situation here.

I 18NB am in an open relationship with a girl I met on hinge 19F (we’ve only been dating about 2 months) who goes to another college around my area. she’s very nice and cool and I would like to preserve my friendship with her, however, I think she likes me (in a romantic sense) a lot more than I like her. To complicate things, I have a huge crush on another girl 21F (I’ve known her for about 3 months) she doesn’t go to college and works/lives in my city, and we’ve been in a bit of a situationship for the past month where we don’t call it anything specifically romantic, we’re just friends (with some benefits) both parties know about my relationship with the other and seem cool with it, but my actual girlfriend and the girl I like don’t know that I’m only in love with one of them really. I’m only in my second relationship and i had an ex I was really emotionally dependent on, so now I’m scared of commitment and I don’t want to rely on anyone, especially someone I’m in a relationship with for my self esteem or social needs. Myself and the girl I like are in the same friend group, and we kept our not-so-platonic interactions quiet for a bit to avoid any drama, but now a few people in the group know and they seem fine with it, they also know I have a girlfriend but I’ve been clarifying as much as I can that our relationship is open and not super serious. tomorrow night I’m going to a club with my girlfriend and I’m a little torn up that I might miss an opportunity to spend time with my other friends (including FWB) but I’m going with her because we’ve had plans for awhile and it’d be rude to blow her off. I don’t want to play with anyone’s emotions, I have no idea what I’m doing with any of this and I fear that if I told my friend I’m in love with her she’d panic and avoid me. I don’t think I want a super serious relationship with anyone right now, but my feelings carry me away and make me think really intense thoughts about others at times. I also am really trying to improve my self image and be someone I can like and accept. Both relationships make me feel better about myself, it’s just the one that I’m not really in is the one that I think about all the time and the person that if I had to choose between them I would pick 21F. I have never been good with social situations and friendships and I only started dating less than a year ago. I don’t want this to get too complicated and I’m worried if I mess this up all my friends will hate me and I’ll be alone again. Anything I could do or tell either of them that would do the least amount of damage to both friendships?