I cant belive I fought all my life just to end it
I can't belive i went through all that for nothing, i thought one day it will all make sense, i thought i could figure it out find a way, but i dont think it can go further than this, all i wanted was to live and nothing more but all i got is 26 years of suffering and i have done everything in my power not to let my circumstances decide my faith, i knew i didn't had a chance but instead of giving in i carried on and i couldn't carry this pain anymore ever thing gets taken away from me, i dont have a family, no friends, no community and im 2k in dept that i could never pay off in a third country and mean while im struggling to even stay alive not be homeless and loss my mind. I know im not getting out of this and im never paying that dept and I've reached a point where i can't even afford to suffer. I've been scared to take my life for sometime now, but I’ve made my peace with it now and i have grieved my self it's kind of a relief to be honest ive cried my soul out as i write this, i mourned the life i could have had, life i never lived even or a day all i wanted was to breathe for a moment. Good thing is no one will know im gone, no one will notice, i will just go like i never existed. I guss this is my suicide note.