u/General_Geologist487

My partner (m39) and I (f46) got together via music. We played in bands together for the last 14 years, started dating 13 years ago and have been living together for 12.

We no longer play in a band together. I’m currently venturing into a solo project and he’s building a home studio and recording business. But because of our history and shared resources I find it hard to extricate myself from him.

For example I recently agreed to let him help me record my solo music which means rehearsing and working together. This feels like old times and blurs the new boundaries I am trying to set for myself. and I’m having a hard time asserting myself and asking for what I need.

That one is easy enough. I can tell him I don’t want to work with him.

But here’s where I need help:

He owns a ton of musical instruments and equipment, says we “share” everything, but I find this feels invasive. I have a few things, a lot less than he and I’m a minimalist- I own instruments I play and yes while I use his stuff like PA system on more than a few occasion I found my practice set up dismantled. I get so frustrated in those moments and I literally feel like he’s taking over and takes liberties with our equipment,
I just need some perspective. What can I do here? I feel like I want my own space. This makes me want to move out.

TLDR; I need help setting boundaries around my time and space with my live in partner (shared resources and shared spaces).

OK, hear me out. I have a feeling and are gonna say but I still need to vent about a few things. I've been gluten-free since 2012. Since then I have become soy intolerant gluten intolerant and literally everything bloats me. In 2024 January I want Carnivore. I lost the weight super fast and within a couple months I was down like 25 pounds. Back to my normal pre-menopause weight. Now I'm 54 and in January this year 2026, I started eating light carbs because I lost too much weight in my face and I thought like I looked really unattractive. I also started taking more electrolytes, incl ones that have Stevia in them. I wanted to be a little less rigid. Fast forward to now I'm super bloated. I've been trying to get back to my carnivore weight but every time I self sabotage (like on day 10) by eating even a little bit of popcorn, I become severely bloated. It's to the point where like I can't really even do anything because if I travel and I accidentally gluten or eat some thing I am immediately bloated out of control.

I think I know the answer. I think I know I need to do 14 full days of strict carnivore for the way to fall off and I haven't done that since January. Not strict. I cut down on the electrolytes because I know that the Stevia does not do me any favors.

But I'm wondering if just a little bit of popcorn alone is doing this to me? Because that was not my experience in January when I started to eat a few carbs the weight didn't come back on for several weeks, so I'm wondering if it is possibly some thing else.

Could this be something else? Cooking my steaks on the grill outside could I possibly get a gluten-free even though they're super high heat? I'm wondering if cold brew coffee could be a culprit? Also could be it eating cold butter? I started doiong that too.

I know you can't possibly know but another thing that has changed in my household as we started washing dishes by hand because of our dishwasher breaking.

ALL insights are really really helpful. I'm just trying to get back to my carnivore weight.