My husband no longer listens when I say no :(
Over the past couple of years, our relationship has changed. He used to be gentle, respectful, and caring during sex, but now I feel more like an object than a partner.
He often talks about how I couldn't stop him if i tried, and what started as comments I brushed off at first, but now he eggs me on to try to stop him, even though he knows theres no way i can.
If I tell him to slow down, stop, or that he's hurting me, he'll say things like "make me" or just "no" and keep going. It feels like he's intentionally being rough and watching my reactions, even though he can tell I'm uncomfortable.
When I had bronchitis for a couple of months a while back... he still had sex with me while I was exhausted and struggling to breathe, which he could see. And a couple of weeks ago, I told him, "Not tonight, my stomach isn't feeling well." He replied, "That's too bad," climbed on top of me, and did it anyway. That hurt me deeply. I felt unheard and like what I wanted didn't matter.
He knows I avoid conflict, but I don't feel I should have to explain that "no" or "stop" should be enough. Now I dread coming off my period because I know he'll be on me. I don't enjoy sex anymore. I feel hurt, used, and constantly roughed up by someone who used to make me feel safe.
The hardest part is that afterward he acts like everything is completely normal, which leaves me questioning myself and wondering if I'm overreacting.
I don't feel respected as a wife or even as a person anymore.
Edit: im really moved by the support on here... I know constantly posting and deleting wont change anything or give me different answers...
When I originally posted this issue, I thought I was going to be downvoted and told im just over reacting, to just tell him no, etc... I think im slightly in shock.
I just can't grasp how someone ive been with since 2012, my best friend and companion, could continue to do this and not realize the pain and confusion he is causing.. or maybe he does..
It's so confusing how he can switch up in a moment. Do it. Then return back to his old self that I love. I never thought I would find myself in this position..
I keep holding on to hope that he will start being gentle again.. but it's been extremely eye opening to see that this is a serious issue... thank you all for your advice... I'm unsure of what I will do next but I'm very thankful for all the advice ❤️