u/Gia_Lavender

My son is 2 and going through a huge stage of boundary testing and being high energy and fussy…my way of dealing with it is:

-tell him not to do the bad behavior (for example throwing toys on the wood floor when there’s neighbors downstairs)

-if he does the bad behavior again, take the toy/thing away

-if he does the bad behavior again, remove him from the location

-if he throws a tantrum I wait quietly for him to calm down letting him know I’m there and protect him from hurting himself while he thrashes around

-if he hits I say no hitting and don’t react just move his hands away

-if he does something dangerous and I can’t grab him in time to move him away asap I will yell

I feel drained and frustrated all the time while he is in this toddler stage. But I try not to take anything personally. My mom has trouble emotionally regulating lately because he is acting up since I broke my arm, I can no longer physically intervene and remove him so he’s been more naughty.

My mom says I am too permissive with him in general. But anyways she was frustrated chasing him around all day and kept yelling at him. At one point he was wrestling with her over a toy, he hit her in the face on purpose and she was screaming and pointing in his face. She would get it together awhile, seem normal and then lose it and yell again. It made me feel horrible to see.

I took him to the other room away from her and we took a nap together. After that she calmed down. After she left she texted and apologized for “being grumpy” I told her she can’t yell at him, he’s just being a 2 year old, and she shouldn’t come over if she is going to yell. But if she says she won’t yell, she is allowed to come back over. She comes over twice a week the other 3 days he’s in daycare.

I am wondering if I’m making the right decision with how I react to his behavior and if I’m dealing with my mom correctly.

My son has always been strong willed and contrary and my strategy has been to be calm and stable, always redirect and be firm.

Lately, every single thing has been a battle. Changes, food, bath, bed, even playing safely.

We haven’t been able to take him anywhere for a long time because of meltdowns, he refuses to hold hands, we tried a hand tether which worked for a week then caused meltdowns, we’ve tried strollers, carrying him. All he wants to do is run free, be allowed to run in the street so we just accept every outing will turn into battles at some time for basic safety.

So I recently found out I have super low ferritin and I broke my arm. I am now super exhausted and can no longer pick him up or restrain him at least a month while healing. IN THEORY my husband or mom or friends could help but I’ve always been the person usually preventing him from injury restraining or picking him up so everything has been so insane. Other people will pick him up but I think not as good as me? So he has been going WILD.

He learned to climb this week, I can’t stop him, if I gently redirect he thinks it’s a game. I can’t pick him up or carry him so I have to scream for my husband, both of us have to literally follow him through the meticulously child proofed house all day JUST FOR PLAY because he keeps finding new ways to be dangerous.

It is making me feel so crazy. I absolutely hate yelling but I either cry (usually) or yell once a day. I hate how I sound while yelling. I did it again today—after hours of struggle with bath and bed, him getting up and down in the crib I just yelled ITS TIME FOR BED!! LIE DOWN. He immediately lay down and went to sleep. I hate how it was effective. I felt so awful afterwards I cried again.

I used to look forward to his future but I know this could take years to end and I dread more adventures in eating, potty training, going outside. Like I just dread everything and want to wake up one day without knowing I have to fight him all day.

He is outgrowing his crib and needs a floor bed for safety obviously. So many posts like “don’t worry my kid has shown no interest in getting out of bed” ommmgggg wtf are you talking about, I’m so jealous of other people’s kids, my son is already trying to climb out of his crib I’m TERRIFIED about the floor bed.

It’s just so exhausting to feel like I’m going with the flow and being in opposition to him at the same time. Because I don’t want him to hurt himself dozens of times a day. And I want him to be clean and sleep.

I would say we have a few months before he can climb out of the crib. Unfortunately we had housing problems earlier in the year and had to move into a tiny 2BR instead of a 3BR. So he currently shares the room with all my stuff in it. I have a door handle childproof thing on the closet, but there are multiple tall dressers, my office chair and desk, lots of books. I have all the lower dresser drawers sealed with childproof lock. And I can anchor them to the wall. But I just don’t know how I am going to leave him in there by himself with just a toddler bed. Even if furniture is anchored to the wall, it seems unwise to have him in there alone. We only have a full size adult bed in the other room due to space so he couldn’t sleep in there. Has anyone else had to deal with this situation and what would you do?

I live across from Graceland, can hear them howling at night and I’ve seen a few from far away at night, but I have been on many daytime walks and I never see them.