u/Gilgamesho-san

Me (23m) and my ex gf (21w) were together for a year and a half and broke up almost 2 months ago and we only broke no contact for her birthday, tho It was literally 3 messages and just about the birthday so idk.

The thing is that I've been feeling really well this past few weeks and everything is been working out really well for me, in this months I literally changed my life, moved out of my mom's house, got a new part time job at a cinema (dream job), I'm doing really well with my university and I've been going out to some rave and discovering that side of myself again, so yeah, honestly it's been really 10/10, except for the fact that I'm not with her...

I can see now that I had like an anxious attachment and she was really insecure about herself so I was always trying to do everything right and just going like after what she needed and at the same time I was scary of getting hurted in general so I never really devoted myself to the couple, and the few times I did it felt awesome, almost perfect honestly.

But yeah, she was really insecure, never trusted me in the relationship (and I never cheated or anything like that, fr) and could be very disrespectful during discussions, but she was starting to change by going to the psychologist and really trying, of course she still has some deep issues but I believe she was trying, and we broke up because I was really stressed at the end, like, I started to follow a friend from school and I was anxious if she was going to see it on my if or that a girl that she didn't liked texted me for something about the school and I hid it. Then I told her that I was really stressed and that I did this and she just lost it, literally thought I was cheating when the messages were like "did u see how cool this new professor is?".

So idk, I'm at one stage were I don't really feel bad, le at least that feeling doesn't control my life, like, I can miss her and keep doing something when before I would see something about her and just cry on the spot, and yeah, now I'm feeling great and I'm having all these amazing news that I just can't feel weird about not sharing this moment with her and I honestly want to text her to drink coffee or something and see what happens. And I'm open to getting hurt again, I know what I'm going to be dealing with so yeah. Tho at the same time in this new relationship I would be more strict with my limits.

Any thoughts? Sorry if it was too long and English is my second language.

Me (Male 23) and my now ex girlfriend (Women 21) broke up on March 27 of this year (2026), we have been holding to this no contact for the whole month (today is 29 of April) and I'm quite proud of it.

We were together for 1 year and a half, she was my first gf and before this definitive separation we had like 2 times we broke up but both lasted a week at most, the first one I broke up with her and then I reached out, and the second one was like 2/3 weeks after where she broke up and then came back few days after, it was weird because she was a very insecure person and I was used to let my anxiety lead my life so I would get back with her without a second thought and this second time I was like, dealing with the grief of "hey, she broke up with me because of x and I'm mad about it but she's sleeping right next to me".

So yeah, today I am a very different person, like, I believe Im becoming myself again, I was always a very empathetic person and I honestly still love her, idk if as a gf but mostly as a person, when we broke up she kept repeating "I love you but this is for the best" and I totally agree with her, it was necessary.

As I was saying, now I would love to cross her on the street or something just to have a little chat and to tell her that I'm thankful for everything and that I hope she can heal (or something like that, she was very jealous because her last bf was unfaithful with her and even though I didn't do anything she would always distrust me).

And now, her 22th birthday is in mes than a week, this fourth of May, I have her blocked from Instagram and she did the same but in WhatsApp (in a way that if either one wants to reach back has the capacity to do so). I was thinking to send her a message, not for reconnection but for respect and honest love, I know she has a final exam that exact day so I thought it would be cute to text her at 23:30 that day with a message like "Hi, I wish you're doing well and that you had a happy birthday. I also hope that your midterm went well!" Or something like that, I'm working on it to.

I honestly don't know what to do, I just wish her to be happy and I don't know how to condense all of that in a single short message while also don't keep chatting with her and just leave It there...

I can see how this is weird by just writing it, English isn't my first language so there can be so misused words. Love y'all.