u/Gingerman_95

Anyone able to point me in the right direction for the union agreement? Trying to claim per diems rn and the business manager says I can’t claim more than dinner for a work trip. For reference I worked in a remote area, stayed in government supplied lodging and cooked my own meals. I left the first day at 6 am and didn’t finish until 730 pm. I worked three more days and came home on the last day. Am I entitled to full per diem for the first day?

I’m (M30) getting married this summer. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for a few years now and we’ve decided that the time feels right. I also bought a small house for us so my funds are kinda tight with some big renovations coming up. We are keeping it small around 80 people. I have a friend who is incredibly upset that I didn’t ask him to be in my wedding party. I probably could have let him known in a better way rather than just a casual conversation. He was incredibly upset and a week later told me that I don’t take my platonic relationships seriously, I’m neglecting him, I don’t spend any time with him when my fiancé is around, I didn’t invite him to Christmas dinner, we don’t spend enough time together and that since he’s known me the longest he deserves to be the best man. He also said that he needs to get to know my future wife and be around us together more (this statement made me incredibly uncomfortable). In the past I’ve always been the chronically single one and he’s always been in a relationship except until recently. I did third wheel him and his girlfriends from time to time but I never demanded it. If he did have a girlfriend in town I would invite him and other people over and make dinner for everyone.
For the record he has been a decent friend over the years. But he doesn’t get along with most of my family, especially my sister. Or a lot of my friends and can be quite negative when he speaks about them (our wedding photographer in particular). A lot of his jokes go too far and when I ask him to stop he tells me that I’m being sensitive. I also don’t think I can ask him to be in my wedding party because he’s notorious for doing the least amount of work possible and taking the most credit. I’d honestly stress about him showing up without an unwrinkled shirt. When I did ask him to take an active role in the wedding whether ushering or helping setup he scoffed at that and said no way.
I need to talk to him this next week and hear where he’s at but I’m honestly dreading it. Most people have told me that if I need to I can un-invite them to the wedding to save money (which I honestly don’t mind hearing). But he was insistent on me spending more money and telling me that I need to ask my family for the funds. I’ve found that he can be incredibly cheap when it comes to a lot of things, trying to get out of paying for gas for a boat when people take him fishing, I rented some equipment to help him on his family’s property and did some work for his family this last year. He’ll “pay” me back in ways that are easy, give me cigars he got for free or let me use his steam account to play video games.
His sister sent me a long text telling me that I’m neglecting the both of them by not being around enough. I also didn’t invite her because she also doesn’t get along with my sister.
I need to talk to them at some point but it feels like they want to be over involved in something without doing any work.
AITA?

Edit:
People asking why we are friends. Grew up in the same community, we were all quite close and would hang out frequently. Stayed pretty close in university. A lot of their friends are my friends too. The family lets me hunt on their land for free. When I was in college I didn’t give them anything for this but now I do try to make sure that I pay them back if I do. I did a bit of yard work, dropped off baked goods and food. I rarely show up empty handed if I’m invited. Gifted them a ham at Christmas.

Sorry new to Reddit, I (30 M) have a friend that often times feels like a transactional relationship. Like he gets more out of it than me. Also in the past he hasn’t been 100% reliable when I ask him for something and he complains about such and such. Sometimes I find him to be entitled. If we go to a potluck at a friend’s he comes with me but doesn’t bring anything.
His sister is also a friend of mine but sometimes she can say things that make my family uncomfortable. Upon meeting my girlfriend (my now fiancé) she immediately about me said “oh his family is dramatic”.
I invited him to the wedding but not his sister. He was incredibly upset when I told him he wasn’t the best man and told me that I had to do a big wedding.
The sister is incredibly upset and wants to speak with me later this week. I said yes but I’m debating saying no to talking with her and saying that the wedding guest list is full and we unfortunately can’t have more people. It seems I only have to have this conversation with a couple people but almost everyone else I invite to my wedding has said “if you need me to not come because of money just say so”. It’s all so tiresome,
AITA