u/GioTheLion

▲ 44 r/nart4

Random rant about 4tran and also race.

Like i think someone said something about how 4tran denounces neo nazis but like… idk i feel the obsession with “brow ridges” and “chin shapes” or whatever is a little bit too close to 1900s eugenics to my liking. I don’t know the history of 4tran nor do i particularly care, but it feels like they adopted racist viewpoints about stuff like “skull shape” and “brain cage size”, and put a transmedicalism filter on it. Also doesn’t help im autistic and cant really tell the difference of like. Facial structures. Between any individuals.

Mmmm and also. While i don’t mean to be like oppression Olympics, i very much see a bunch of “oh no these (white) old Christian ladies think im (white) weird!” Can you imagine that??? Old bigoted people being bigoted towards you???? Imagine if there’s some shitfuck towns with shitfuck white cissoids that would lynch murder you! For something beyond your control!!

I mean of course this isn’t every 4tran user. Obviously there’s gonna be poc in there. I just uh. Haven’t seen any. And many are of other minority groups than just trans, and they’d have the experience of being persecuted before attempting difference gender identities. Regardless, the idea that many seemingly “safe” friends would suddenly hate you because they “didn’t know you were one of them” sucks ass and i hate it. So the obsession with “passing” in order to not get harassed or hated is something i can see the “logic” behind.

But something every person of color has to learn is that there will always be racist assholes that will hate you and will never treat you kindly or equally or fairly based off of some integral part of your identity. I can’t really “pass” as a light-skinned person. Even though i don’t want to be harassed, there will be some i cannot placate and some i theoretically could but it would slowly kill me inside. It pains me to see when someone forgoes parts of their culture and identity so that their asshole boss doesn’t glare at them every shift or some white man doesn’t do that scoff and nodding of his head. You ever see a video of like “lead poisoning stare.” Type of stuff you’d see on an old white guy before he calls the poc next to him on a plane a slur and then gets escorted out.

Anyways. In that scenario it’s pretty obvious that the solution isn’t to become self-hating and wish you were born white and then form a white supremacy group where all the members are brown. But i feel like 4tran subreddits follow a very similar pattern.

In conclusion that’s why I’ve never seen a non-white 4tranner. Because poc have the privilege of being discriminated since birth and get used to it. (These last two sentences are sarcastic)

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u/GioTheLion — 1 day ago
▲ 24 r/nart4

I think this is what the youth call a transition goal or whatever

Unironically i like hate the whole “masculine” and “feminine” thing. Makes no sense to me but im autistic so what do i know.

Masculine things are what those things are like and feminine things are those other things are like because apparently everyone says so and the FUCKING CISSIES DONT know how to explain these things because why would they question the status quo?

I’m going to like what i like and express myself in whatever fucking way i want to and if you’ve got a problem with that I’d blow you up with my mind powers.

I am a MACHINE of FLESH and SIN and i might just be happy the way i am.

u/GioTheLion — 25 days ago

How to cope with jealousy??

Repost cause the image i used was actually 4 trans friends doing drugs instead of estrogen shots. Whoops.

How do i cope with jealousy (image related)

UGHHHHHHHH how to i cope with jealousy!?!? I thought i was more mature than this but it’s FUCKING with me. My chest! Idk what’s wrong with it. It’s screaming out loud and it makes me ache.

Ok to preface, i have like, 2 friends. Only one is relevant for the sake of this post.

I made new Friend. This is good! They don’t hate me. Cool. They, frankly, are beautiful. They go out and *do* things. They meet people! They have other friends. I don’t want to be in a romantic or physical relationship with them, they are hundreds of miles away and honestly i think they’d kill me in real life, but i flirt with them and they accept it. But i can’t remember if they have ever like, complimented me. I don’t think so. I think that’s bad.

Seeing Friend gets me jealous. A lot. They have a drive that i don’t have. They are confident and get attention and i just got updates that’s they’re having sex with 3 other trans women at THREE AM.

Why am i like this? I don’t even want this? Do i? All this stuff feels like an ideal. Or some fantasy i built up in my head but waved away that it would never be real. But my friend is transitioning and going on dates and being in t4t foursomes and i yearn for the ability to do that! I wish i could do estrogen shots while naked cuddling other trans people. I wish i could transition and feel comfortable and learn to grow confident and might one day look at this THING in the mirror and think “I am beautiful.” But i cannot imagine a future like that. I’m so close to just. Dying here. Being truly a nobody, starting now. Just an idea of a person, and never the real thing anymore. Honestly i feel like that already. I’m not in a safe place to transition (parents would end financial support) or talk to people (racial minority in a place with gradually increasing ICE presence).

How do i make this aching stop. Should i cut them off? No fault of their own but im immature and it’s hurting me.

I hope she doesn’t see this. It’d suck so bad to put a damper on “the greatest day of her life.”

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u/GioTheLion — 1 month ago