u/Giraffe96_

Hey guys, I’m coming on here because my now ex (M38) and I (F29) recently split because we didn’t align anymore.

I’ve really been struggling with this as it’s a super niche situation. My now ex turned super religious and decided he wanted to go down the path of ministry. No disrespect,I believe in God myself but he was on a completely different level,a level that I couldn’t reach or ever be on.

This all started happening around September when he was going to men’s group via zoom on Wednesday nights which was completely fine and normal. We then went to visit his hometown for Christmas and he met up with some past friends (he has a religious past and was even a part of a cult..) these friends took him to church (i didn’t go) and they recommended a church in our town that he started going to in January. (Pentecostal vibes..whew) He quickly started going to all the events they had, men’s group on Mondays,prayer on Wednesday and service on Sunday as well as any other events such as “healing of the father” which was like a 3 day event. About a month into going to this church he sat me down,told me he wanted to go down the path of ministry and that he wanted to be in separate bedrooms now and that I could follow him or leave..I stuck around. He then started only listening to worship music,dictating what shows we could have on at our apartment and just doing the absolute most. It got to a point where he took away all affection and it just felt like we had nothing in common anymore so we pretty much mutually ended it. I’m sure there’s alot more that I could add but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Anyways, has anyone else ever experienced something like this? I feel so alone, I miss my fun loving guy and my best friend. How can I get past this..

*honorable mention: he’s been going to prophetic training bc he believes he has “prophetic giftings” ..yeah I digress

I’m a 29F and my boyfriend 37M and I officially broke up after a year and a half together, and I’m struggling to process it. When we first got together, he was goofy, affectionate, carefree, fun, and made me feel so loved. We lived together and started to build a life together. But over time, after he found God and became deeply involved in church, it felt like he became a completely different person.

At first I supported it because I was happy he found something meaningful and help him heal from addiction, but eventually it felt like religion became his entire personality. Every conversation revolved around Jesus, the Bible, or church. I respect faith, but I didn’t want our whole relationship to center around religion.

He also made the decision to practice abstinence and move out of our bedroom after “finding God,” which was a unilateral decision even though we had previously had an intimate relationship. After that, there was little to no intimacy, affection, or emotional closeness. I felt rejected, unwanted, and honestly confused.

He told me at one point that he didn’t know what to talk about with me anymore because I didn’t want to talk about God all the time. That crushed me and made me feel like who I am wasn’t enough.

We recently went “on a break,” and during that time he was cold, distant, and seemed completely okay while I was falling apart. Now it’s officially over.

I think what hurts the most is that I feel like I’m grieving two losses:

1.	The relationship itself

2.	The old version of him—the man I fell in love with

I’m also heartbroken over losing his dog. I took care of her every day, walked her, loved her, and spent more time with her than he did. Losing her feels like another breakup on top of this one.

To make everything harder, I’m in dental hygiene school studying for my national boards on May 21, so I’m under an insane amount of stress and trying to hold it together.

I keep wondering:

•	Has anyone else lost a partner because of religion changing them?

•	How do you stop grieving the “old” version of someone who doesn’t exist anymore?

•	Why does it seem like he’s okay while I’m completely shattered?

•	How do I move on when I still love him?

I know deep down we may not have been compatible anymore, but I’m struggling with the loss and feeling like I wasn’t chosen.

Any advice or perspective would really help.