u/GiveItANosh

My ex has a history of this type of violent behavior and also trying to make themselves look like a victim. She’s been physically violent with me at least 3 times and I know she has been that way with her ex before me since a stated as such to the police when he picked up his own son from our apartment when she was getting arrested on the 15th of this month.

The day of the assault she was coming back from seeing her family in another city. She took our son and her son from her previous relationship for a weekend to Houston. I stayed in town since I didnt have the money to pay for everything she wanted to do over the weekend which always leads to a huge argument. So i stayed with my parents for the weekend since i never get to see them.

The day she’s coming back, I was working with my old neighbor; we’re starting a new business together and he pays me about $2k a month out of his pocket so i can pay rent but thats pretty much my entire income at the moment. He had just paid me at the beginning of this month which was 2 weeks prior to this incident. She gets angry every time I do any sort of work with him because she wants me to be making more and she expects him to pay me every time I as much as take one of his calls. I get that she wants to feel financially secure, especially since we just had a kid; he turned 5 months the day of the incident. Grandparents on both sides have helped with whatever the baby has needed so he is always taken care of. She’s terrible with money and loves luxuries. But making money with a business takes time and even when I was waking 130k plus she was still on me about making more so I pivoted to starting a business in an effort to make more money than she could ever spend.

When she found out i was working with my neighbor while she was driving back to town she was livid. Blowing up my phone asking me when he was gonna pay me, im a bum, more this and that. The last time she called me i was in a valero parking lot testing the cleaning product we had manufactured on my neighbors truck. When i was on the phone with her she said she swore she heard a girl laughing in the background. There was definitely not a girl remotely near us, maybe not even in the parking lot. Either way she was pissed.

I get home and wait on the couch for them to get home, i didnt put away my duffle bag and backpack so they were on the couch with me. They get home after a while and Im so excited to see my son. It had been days since i’d seen him and I missed him like crazy. I go out to the parking lot to help them bring stuff up to the apartment and she just walks by me holding my son in his carrier, ignoring me and giving me this side-eye death stare she makes when she’s pissed off. Anyway, I help her older son carry things up to the apartment. Once everything is up, i finally go to greet my son who’s in the bedroom being carried by his mom. I reach to put my hand on his back and she pulls him away and slaps my arm away. We start slowly arguing over the same thing we’ve argued over the past few months. I dont have energy for it which makes her even more mad since im not as enthusiastic as she is about fighting. I eventually just go back to the living room and wait for her to calm down.

She finally came out and I start asking about the their time in houston. The conversation is fine for a second until she remembers that i worked with my neighbor that day and she started talking shit again. I gave up talking to her and waiting for her to calm down so i can hold my son so i got up to try and say hi to him again. I put my hand on his arm and she slapped my arm away again and pushed me. She said “if you try to touch him again i’ll stick you.” I just gave her a blank look before reaching for him again. She immediately punched me in the mouth twice. I basically just took it and walked through them and slowly grabbed my son with both hands. She punched me one more time after that and once i had actually had him in my hands she threw her knee into my groin. I stayed solid so I wouldnt drop him. Once i had my son in my arms she started getting in my face pressing her forehead into my nose with as much force as she could make. I turned and walked to the single couch. I sat down with my son and started playing with him. She seemed to calm down for all of 30 seconds before she grabbed my duffle bag off the big couch and threw it off the balcony into a dog walking path. It’s a leather LV duffle bag so it’s crazy expensive and i didnt want someone to take it. So i put on my backpack because that had 2 laptops in it and i knew she would smash them if i left them (she smashed my desktop computer and oled monitor in a previous fight). Im still holding my son as i was walking to the door and she starts freaking out like im gonna kidnap him or something. I was just going to get my bag and come right back up, i didnt even have my keys on me or his car seat. I really dont believe she actually thought i was trying to leave with him. I just think she saw me doing something she didnt like and was looking for a way to escalate. Anyway, she rushes to the door and screams that im not going anywhere with her son. She locked the door and grabbed this yellow ceramic owl we had by the front door as decoration and she smashed the head off, pointed the sharp end at me like it was a glass bottle in a bar fight, again screaming that im not going anywhere with her son. I couldnt believe she was actually acting like that, I scoffed and said i was just going to get my bag and be right back. She said no. I took one step to move around her towards the door and she lunged at me with the broken owl. I backed up and that was the one moment i felt truly angry.

I was holding my son when she did that. I yelled at her asking what the fuck she was doing. And she starts screaming at her other son to call the cops. He calls them and hands her the phone. She starts telling the dispatch woman that i was being aggressive with her and the baby and that her and her son were scared. I couldn’t believe she was lying like that so I yelled loud enough that the dispatcher could hear me say “she punched me in the face and tried to stab me.” The dispatcher started telling me to call 911 to give my side but at that point my ex started bursting into tears and muted the dispatcher while she yelled at me saying stuff i cant recall at this moment, but eventually she just hung up on the 911 call.

I walked away into the bedroom and put the baby on the bed and took a couple picture of him looking happy since i knew I was gonna have to leave that night and i was gonna miss him. She started yelling at me from the living room and i ignored her until she walked into the room and took off with my backpack that i just took off and set on the bed so she could throw it off the balcony. I chased after her and basically bear hugged her to stop her and i took my backpack back to the room. She followed me after wailing in the living room for like 10 seconds. She b-lined it to me in the bedroom and as soon as she got to me she threw 3 more punches with her left hand and busted my lip. I started bleeding a good bit and she ran outside the front door and sat on the stairwell balling her eyes out.

I changed my sons diaper and started getting my stuff together. She came back in the apartment and started arguing with me in the closet, saying things like ‘why do i always make her act like that’ and ‘now you get to leave and be happy like you always wanted’. I told her to fuck off and that i was only leaving because she called the cops and they were gonna make me leave anyway. She was saying they werent going to come and i called her a dumbass and that of course they were coming because she hung up on the dispatcher while we were yelling at each other. The realization set in that they were definitely coming and she started crying again and went back to the stairwell, with my son this time. I started packing luggage and while i was in the closet grabbing more clothes I hear the coos calling my name from the living room. I go to them, they put me in handcuffs and walk me down to the cruiser. I explain what happened, they get her side of the story. I have no idea what she told them because they immediately believed me after talking to her. The only things the cops told me was that her story didnt make sense and she wasnt able to give any clear details or reasons for what happened like i did.

They took pictures of my busted lip and the swelling that was building up. Her older son’s dad came by to pick him up and while he was there he told the cops that she did the same thing to him a few years back. I didnt know he said that to them until i was meeting with CPS investigator a couple days ago and the investigator read the statement to me from that night.

After the cops got the whole story, they charged her with domestic assault with bodily injury and terrostic threats and took her to jail. I stayed with the baby there at the apartment waiting for her to make bail. It wasnt until late the next day when her dad called me and told me she was making bail but i shouldnt be there when she got out. Give her space so everything can cool off. I took the baby to my parents and we stayed there and she called me and told me how terrible jail was and that she missed the baby and she just wanted to see him. I felt bad and said it was okay for him to go with her but we needed to set up a custody agreement because i wanted to establish 50/50. The. She found out she the judge she say gave her a no contact order with me. So i started talking to her dad as the middle man, everything was still okay, I even got to have my son for fathers day.

Her ex’s dad is rich and they’ve maintained a relationship due to her other son being his grandson so he paid an expensive attorney for her. Her and i were fine with an agreement and i wasnt going to press charges but now this attorney is trying to use my son as leverage to get me to drop everything without the custody agreement in place. Knowing my ex, if theres a way to keep full custody she’ll take it so she’s doing whatever the attorney says. 3 days ago I got a call from a cps investigator asking me to come by the office to discuss the incident. I showed up to the meeting to find out that I was labeled as the aggressor in the report that was submitted. She lied and claimed that i pushed her while she was holding the baby before she started punching me. I refuted that completely and explained that i thought i was coming in to give corroborate the police report and explain that i didnt think she was a danger to the baby. honestly it pissed me off. She’s trying to paint me as the violent one when all i did was be a punching bag.

Now i feel i should pursue the charges since she’s keeping my son from me and throwing me under the bus. I cant really afford an attorney for an extended legal battle. Her son’s grandpa has an endless money pit. I really dont know what to do. Honestly i just miss my son. I dont want her to go to jail. I dont want to press charges but i feel i’ll regret it for the rest of my life if i dont fight tooth and nail for custody of my son.

Is there any way forward?

TL:DR - My ex punched me in the face a total of 6 times busting my lip and hit me in the groin with her knee while i was holding our 5 month old son. Also tried to stab with a ceramic decoration she smashed while i was holding my son. She called the cops on me but she got charged/arrested. Has a big shot attorney that is trying to use seeing my son against me to get me drop all the charges while also trying to get me CPS to find me as the aggressor in order to give my ex full custody. I didnt want to press charges but now i feel that i have to.

Location: Bexar County, Texas