u/Glass-Psychology8793

https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/s/wUuriL9nhN

the thing that amazes me most about this post and vegans of this sort isn’t even the ignorance, but rather the hostility and aggression. This genuinely has to be one of the only communities to exist where such a level of animosity exists around a question that simply aims to learn more about their beliefs. not to mention that the post contains 0 hate, isn’t even the slightest bit confrontational. I asked ‘why is meat unhealthy or plants are healthy’ and literaly received 5 downvotes in the first 5 minutes despite clarifying i was simply asking out of curiosity- which is true. I suppose this is a perfect representation of the idea that your level of wellbeing is a product of the foods you consume- thus it would make sense that people that eat only leaves would act in such a way.

for context I struggle with hocd, rocd and moral ocd)
Long story short my girlfriend knows that I struggle with ocd and is very supportive tho she doesnt know any of my themes and only found out about one of them - hocd - yesterday when I finally decided to tell her. Like a lot of people with hocd, I often check my reaction to different categories of explicit content as a compulsion (I know compulsions are bad for ocd and im trying to stop). During telling her I also told her about this specific compulsion - however I made it extremely clear that in no way am I viewing such content for the sexual/arousal side of things - rather 100% as a sad scary compulsion which I hate doing - and in general went into extreme detail differentiating this compulsion from regular viewing (I also very rarely use content involving girls and instead use content involving men as my compulsion - I also told her this). Upon telling her this she explained to me that she was upset with the fact that I view this content - despite her saying that she understands it isnt in an intentional sexual way - rather as a compulsion. She was crying about it this morning to me and is overall very upset by it - tho she has said her upset isnt toward me and she understands what I said - but its just the fact that I view explicit content in our relationship that upsets her and the fact I have seen it etc. This has made me very stressed, upset and confused.

I would also like to preface that my gf is an amazing person and is very thoughtful and she would hate to cause me any upset - however I just cant help but feel slightly hurt, a bit invalidated and also slightly triggered (rocd and moral ocd wise - 'am I an awful person for this compulsion?' etc) by how upset she is and how she is viewing it more objectively as 'my bf views explicit content' rather than understanding it for what it is - given that she isnt at all ignorant to ocd and how it manifests as she has struggled herself with it and I also often talk to her about it and how much I struggle with it. The main reason I have come onto here is because given everything and all of my themes I cant seem to form a rational opinion that isnt warped by stress, guilt, ocd etc

Given this info my question is- is her reaction completely justified and almost to be expected or is she in the wrong to a degree and or she should be more understanding and not visibly upset or hurt by this info- despite me going in depth into how the compulsion manifests.
- sub question out of genuine confusion- is the fact i occacionaly have to watch p0rn as a compulsion to test atraction- still actaully an awful thing to do in a relationship despite the fact i have ocd and given the p0rn rarely involves girls? (I am getting a therapist to start recovery very soon)

this is crazy

i need advice