u/GlitterBirb

So I was an RBT for about a year and a half with younger kids, a self-contained para for a little while for middle school, and now I'm a supervisor at a group home for adults.

I have noticed working in my para and group home role and speaking with various professionals such as psychologists and speech therapists that SO MUCH ABA is used by them.

So far I've seen least to most prompting, BIPs, behavior chaining, positive reinforcement for undesired tasks, first/then, planned ignoring, data collection (not in the school) and much more that I can't think of off the top of my head.

The kicker is I've had multiple people tell me they don't like/are wary of ABA and one person even asked if I used dog clickers on kids or made them speak in order to receive food.

So a lot of parents/caregivers are avoiding ABA and recieving other services they think are benefiting them and receiving the exact same thing in different packaging. I wonder about the ethics of not informing them and also how utterly unfair it is for people to look down on what we've done and get to do the same things and be viewed at in a much better light. And furthermore, these methods are being used without the same level of data collection, so they're not even achieving the same level of results.

I am currently in the move out process, interviewing for full time positions.

What kills me is that since I haven't actually moved out yet but people know we're separating (I live in a state that requires 1 year separation before divorce), people keep making comments like they feel sorry for my husband and I'm making some kind of mistake.

For the past few years he turned into been abusive and controlling towards me, but mostly behind closed doors. People know him as a friendly, laid back guy who always wants to help others and a loving father.

At home when he isn't absent, he's hot tempered, raging, and a huge bully to me in front of our kids. He doesn't clean or contribute to anything he doesn't "have" to. He has showed me zero affection for years and makes digs about my appearance and abilities. I hate to admit it but I have a tendency to be very quiet and timid which I think attracted him to me. He has intentionally intimidated me, withheld information that I want, ignores me when I'm hurt or sick, on and on.

And the sociopathy part...He has on many occasions played cruel games such as making me repeat myself several times in the "right tone" right after I had surgery and was in severe pain. He has started talking about something he's going to do that is very upsetting and then asked me if I really believe that and scolded me for it. He has pretended to miss exits when driving when I said I had to pee until I begged him to pull over, because I was "not reminding" him or not reminding him at the right moment. He has thrown things close by me to see me flinch and then pretend he's confused or hurt that I thought he would hurt me. He appears to operate with some level of empathy and has shown concern at times, but it's not fully there.

For the longest time I questioned reality because everyone around me thinks he's amazing and of the few people I've confided in about him to varying degrees, they don't really believe his behavior is that bad or intentional. I have not shared everything but any additional info. is always excused. His mother insists he's "mentally ill" and maybe has bipolar disorder (he does not) and I lack empathy and need to try harder to help him. She actually made a joke about "at least he's not an abuser" the other day. My own parents say they know he's a great guy and he can change. My sister told me it would be really sad to split up the family over "arguments". And no one else knows anything so of course they just say that it's so sad to see and things of that nature.

Basically the only people who agree he has a severe lack of empathy or genuine care for me are people who have never met him and fallen for his charm. When I went in for DV counseling, they completely believed me. Anyone on the Internet also seems to have no problem believing it.

I didn't even know what words to use to talk about any of this until I read up on narcissistic abuse, which I know is kind of an Internet buzzword right now. But he definitely has some kind of cluster B diagnosis that will never get addressed.

And yes I am worried for the kids. I'm working on that. Tips on that appreciated. I'm in NC.

I figured the answer is no for the most part and maybe if there's an odd client who wants that, but I just thought I'd ask if there are any clinics that would split schedules with RBTs like this, just to know my options for sure.

I'm currently working as an RBT and really enjoy it, but my schedule is preventing me from going through with moving out for a divorce and being able to split custody. We all know how hard it is to shift schedules or call out for any reason, and I have one child who is also enrolled in ABA who requires pickup on exact times and I can't exactly put him in just any backup care. The therapy has been a game changer for us.

I am newly certified in another field where this schedule is common, but I'm not having any luck in my interviews yet, especially during new grad season.

I just passed my CMA cert exam a few weeks ago. I am working as a registered behavior tech and I took a course at US Career Institute hoping to get a job with a better schedule for my needs.

I just received a rejection email from a really good company in this area for an urgent care CMA position after a final interview. The recruiter's feedback was that I was great cultural fit and that they really liked me as a candidate, but they were not equipped to train someone as inexperienced as me since they did ER overflow and had very high acuity patients. They asked if I had any interest in the other open positions and said they'd "love to help me" if that's genuine at all.

Honestly I'm a little butt hurt because I was clear about my experience upfront. I am certified in crisis management and work a very high stress job already, but really they should have decided this from my resume before an hour and a half long interview and then have me shadow an MA who barely acted like I existed. The MA at the front desk told me she knew I was going to get the job, and it would have cost nothing not to say that to me...

I'm trying to go through with a divorce with a special needs child, and his therapy is at odd hours. I can only manage it if I have at least two days off during the week. I had friends encourage me to go into urgent care for the schedule.

Now I am wondering if it's realistic to be hired in urgent care with so little MA experience or if I should go part time somewhere and cobble together jobs around my schedule instead. I don't want to spiral and shoot myself in the foot either.

I am finally separating from my ex-husband, who I have fully accepted will not change, will not quit emotionally abusing me, and will not become more involved with his kids. It was very hard for me to move past my own guilt and self-blame and realize I'm not responsible for fixing him, but I did it.

MIL, however, routinely begs me to stay and has contacted:

* My parents - asking them to basically talk some sense into me. My parents thankfully found this bizarre.

* My kids' school and medical clinics - in order to make sure her son is being included in meetings and I'm not pushing him out of that. I've had to instruct them to ignore her requests and actually had to remind them she's not authorized to decide anything related to their education or medical treatment. Absolutely no one has kept him from any of these things and he chooses to ignore the invites.

* Therapists - She has told me her therapist believes her son has bipolar disorder and that since I also struggle with mental health, it's not fair to hold that against him. He has no apparent signs of bipolar disorder, holds down a serious job where he's very polite and respectful, and most people have never seen the side of him he shows behind closed doors. And btw I've never abused someone because of my mental health struggles, which she has never asked nor cared about.

And that's only the people I know about.

She also cries when she's not getting her way, so there's no point in trying to talk sense to her. She has major attention seeking behavior and gets visibly upset when other people are getting praise/attention. I gave my kids a gift in front of her one time, and she jumped in front of them and said "Hey I have something cool!" Wtf. I am 99% sure she has some type of cluster B personality, but she's too busy getting her son fake diagnosed with bipolar to worry about herself.

His dad is also just like him, who she happily divorced without making excuses for. Their son didn't stand a chance.