Should I keep my baby?
Me and my boyfriend (23f) & (24m) just found out that I’m about six weeks pregnant. We live with his parents together in a renovated basement apartment, and I have a good job with amazing insurance, they take care of everything and I’ll get three months paid leave when the baby arrives.
Everyone is really excited- but the problem is that we (the potential parents) are freaked the fuck out. We wanted a family but my partner is still in grad school with two years to go (a year and three months when the baby comes) and we just got on our feet financially. Everyone around me is insistent on baby’s being a blessing and how they come when they want to come, but our plan was to get married, travel, live on our own for a while, then settle down and have a baby or two. I have a good job and I make decent money- but our company is changing rapidly and I didn’t plan on staying much longer. If I have this baby I have to stay on for two more years as my partner will be in school. I wouldn’t be able to afford to leave even if I wanted to. I’d be the primary parent and breadwinner for the first year of that baby’s life and I don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure.
I feel like we’re so young, we haven’t gotten to do all the things we want to do. We both go from being excited about the baby and fantasizing about being parents to not knowing if it’s the best idea to keep it given the circumstances. I wanted to be a SAHM for the first few years until we could put the kids in school. Then we come to the issue of being married- I’m not overly religious but I come from a family where me and my siblings all have different fathers, I’ve seen my mom go through boyfriends and heartache and I don’t want that for my children. So we want to get married before the baby is due in February. Which if we want some time to plan would be in October. My partners mom is so excited- she’s going crazy making plans for us, our wedding, the baby, our future. I love her but it’s too much.
My partner is super stressed about money and not being able to provide. Every time he leaves for work he comes back even more stressed out and his mother’s constant planning isn’t helping him. He feel like he’s not ready to be a dad but knows that nobody ever is. He had all of these plans for our upcoming vacation that we are no longer able to do because I’m pregnant and he’s grieving those lost experiences. He’s also sad because all the wedding planning feels like it’s happening around him and not with him.
All of this has been so difficult and the first trimester should be the easy part. I don’t know if I can have this baby- we go back and forth so much I honestly don’t know if it’s fair to the kid..I’m thinking about asking my ob to help me with “other options” but I don’t know. Will everything be fine? Should I just suck it up and lock in? I really need advice.