u/GlitteringPositive77

I want to start out by saying this is not at all intended to be a political post. But, in the spirit of community and our willingness to see the futility and harm of plain grass lawns, I’m wondering if there is a possibility of organizing so that we can provide food for one another. Does anyone know of any movements whose goal is to help people to grow food on their land, garden, back patio, whatever and to share that food by trading or selling with folks nearby who want to do the same? I’m just thinking of the ever increasing price of food, food deserts, and the unmitigated greed of most of these grocery store franchises. What better way to use our non-lawns than to help each other (and the planet, of course)?

If this is not the place to do this no problem, just delete my post. I was just curious if there’s a way to make the idea of no lawns even more fruitful for our communities :)

The title is a weird way to say what I’m saying, but basically my husband always has SOMETHING wrong. For example: I cosleep with my kids. I won’t stop despite the fact that it means I’m usually somewhat sleep deprived. They can sleep alone when they’re ready, I’ll always encourage them to, but for now they aren’t. I have a one year old and a five year old for reference. My kids are night owls. We try to get them to go to sleep earlier, but despite the routine and the dark and the stories, bath, etc. no dice on an earlier sleep time at the moment. To be kind, I usually tell my husband to go to bed earlier and leave me to get the kids to sleep. He has to get up early and go to the office three times a week, so I want to be considerate.

Here is where I start to get pissed off. First, he’s got a tight neck, so I stay up later to massage his neck for him. Ok, that’s fine. Then, he’s stressed from work so he can’t get to sleep until late and sometimes wakes up too early from a nightmare or something. Ok, that’s awful, I hear that. That’s happened a few nights in a row. Then today, he has a head ache, so he needs to go lie down. Yesterday, he was so tired, so he says the whole day was miserable and hard (we had a lovely day with the kids at a local farm/fun park). He doesn’t help himself. He hasn’t taken anything for the headache. He doesn’t try to relax before bed meditating or listening to calming music or something. He just goes about his day/night with unhealthy habits and then I feel like I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces for his negligence.

Am I crazy? I feel like a crazy person. I get it, life is hard, especially with young kids. But this man gets to poop by himself, he gets to pee by himself, he gets to have a coffee alone, he takes entire breaks, alone, playing a game online or something. He sometimes messes about when he’s on at work, just fixing something around the house, listening to a podcast. He gets to listen to music or a podcast ALONE on his commute. I know we all struggle and working is its own struggle. I know this. But it is ALWAYS something with him and he doesn’t go “oh my gosh, you must be so tired, let me do x for you”. I’m happy to sacrifice time, effort, sleep, whatever if I feel like the efforts are reciprocated.

I understand this is a futile and probably immature rant, but I needed to get it out there.

Has anyone else come to an age where, for some reason, they are more aware of their social skills (or lack there of) and are noticing that in fact, they seem to be unlikeable? Because boy oh boy, I am in a very weird place. I don’t have drinking buddies anymore, so my social interactions are all sober and apparently I put people off in a way I can only describe as Ted Bundy-ish.
I have people literally get a few minutes into a conversation before something happens (what? I don’t know) and they can’t get away from me fast enough. I try, but I’m masking like hell the whole time. Maybe that’s completely obvious. I’m also learning that no, it’s not appropriate to just be open about myself. It is more socially acceptable to be a blank slate who regurgitates pleasantries and benign personal information only when it’s absolutely necessary. Right? I don’t know. I wish I could have someone watch me socialize and then tell me what I’m doing wrong. Am I alone in this? Is this just a me thing? The worst part is that I have also found that I’m a social creature. I enjoy social interactions with the world. I need them. They energize me. It doesn’t help that I’m a parent of two small people, I’m constantly sleep-deprived and stressed from full time studies and full time parenting, so I’m almost never coming up with witty jokes or remarks these days, and I live in the boonies.
I think I would just love some solidarity. Thanks y’all.