u/Glittering_Bed8314

I’ve had an ED for a few years, but it developed and got worse while I was in outpatient FBT for freshman and sophomore year (for OSFED with an and bn tendencies). So I was never really in “recovery” then, just slowly developing more restrictive habits. Last year, I had full-blown AN and started PHP after hitting a low point.

I’ve been there for three months now and although I didn’t totally resist treatment, it’s been hard. a lot of behaviors remained (like hiding, exercise, purging, etc.). Despite that, I obviously still gained weight and I’m nearly at my target now. But I’m so sick of having an ED, and it’s exhausting to resist treatment, and I’m ready to go all-in. which is something I never thought I’d say.

I don’t really know what that means for me since I’m already following a meal plan and I don’t have much more weight to restore. I don’t have extreme hunger anymore, so there won’t be many opportunities to intuitively get a snack or something. I guess for me, going all in just means stopping compensatory behaviors, trying to choose snacks based on my cravings and not calories, and being okay with overshoot if that happens.

Does anyone else have experience going all-in later in physical recovery? What was it like, without the extreme hunger, and how did you navigate it?

I'm in an adolescent PHP for anorexia right now, I've been there for a little over two months. There are about 10 patients all ages 14-20. This week is "competition week" meaning they split us into two groups and every day there are fun games where you earn points (Ex, art competition for one point, trivia for two points, scavenger hunt for one point, etc). At the end of the week the winning team gets to pick next week's snack outing. None of the points have anything to do with ed really, except maybe trivia but it's just for fun and to lighten the atmosphere.

Anyways, today was "experiential" dinner meaning we order out from a restaurant, and we had burritos. Burritos are one of the three items on my dislikes (I'm not picky!). However, my dietician, who I usually really like, wouldn't accommodate this and at first I was upset but eventually it was like ugh whatever.

But THEN. The two dieticians surprised us right before dinner!! They said that if everyone on your team can complete experiential, you get 10 extra points. That's a lot in terms of the competition (everything else is worth 1-2). Everyone in my milieu had mixed feelings about this but the staff wouldn't budge. I found this really really unfair. For one thing, everybody is at a different place in their journey with different eating disorders. For example, one girl with ARFID has trauma around certain foods in a burrito. It's another girl's first week and she hasn't completed much at all. And I don't like burritos, but I'm on accelerated boost plan (extra boost per meal to discourage supplementing) meaning I don't have that option.

Obviously, the competition is all for fun so it's not like I care much about the points. To me it's more about what that represents. Like, "here's 10 dollars to finish your food!" doesn't help someone recover from an ED (and I've been through this for a while). I know they thought it was lighthearted and motivating but I feel the opposite, because it could create pressure and shame and panic. I tried to talk to my team but they were very firm. Plus our program has a system called recovery points, and if you lose a certain amount you're stepped up to res, so the stakes are kind of high in terms of not completing.

Idk. Maybe I'm overreacting.

I'm in an adolescent PHP for anorexia right now, I've been there for a little over two months. There are about 10 patients all ages 14-20. This week is "competition week" meaning they split us into two groups and every day there are fun games where you earn points (Ex, art competition for one point, trivia for two points, scavenger hunt for one point, etc). At the end of the week the winning team gets to pick next week's snack outing. None of the points have anything to do with ed really, except maybe trivia but it's just for fun and to lighten the atmosphere.

Anyways, today was "experiential" dinner meaning we order out from a restaurant, and we had burritos. Burritos are one of the three items on my dislikes (I'm not picky!). However, my dietician, who I usually really like, wouldn't accommodate this and at first I was upset but eventually it was like ugh whatever.

But THEN. The two dieticians surprised us right before dinner!! They said that if everyone on your team can complete experiential, you get 10 extra points. That's a lot in terms of the competition (everything else is worth 1-2). Everyone in my milieu had mixed feelings about this but the staff wouldn't budge. I found this really really unfair. For one thing, everybody is at a different place in their journey with different eating disorders. For example, one girl with ARFID has trauma around certain foods in a burrito. It's another girl's first week and she hasn't completed much at all. And I don't like burritos, but I'm on accelerated boost plan (extra boost per meal to discourage supplementing) meaning I don't have that option.

Obviously, the competition is all for fun so it's not like I care much about the points. To me it's more about what that represents. Like, "here's 10 dollars to finish your food!" doesn't help someone recover from an ED (and I've been through this for a while). I know they thought it was lighthearted and motivating but I feel the opposite, because it could create pressure and shame and panic. I tried to talk to my team but they were very firm. Plus our program has a system called recovery points, and if you lose a certain amount you're stepped up to res, so the stakes are kind of high in terms of not completing.

Idk. Maybe I'm overreacting.

I’m in PHP for anorexia and purging was never part of my ed until it became a behavior about a month ago. I’m near fully weight restored, medically stable, and completing my meal plan nearly every day but sometimes when i feel super full in the evening after program I purge. It’s never a lot, and I don’t do it to “reduce the calories”(because I know weight gain is necessary for me) instead to get rid of fullness and ease the ed thoughts. However I really don’t want to continue this behavior and I need more of a reason to stop. Please help me!