u/Glittering_Lemon2003

Now that I've completed K-12 the stress it caused outweighs whatever knowledge I had gained. I could easily learn this stuff online, ask an ai for clarification and other things. I don't care to describe it perfectly but in school things didn't automatically click, because I couldn't help myself not fixate on these glaring holes in whatever ambiguous definition they were giving me. I would focus and learn the material and see things were really simple, then I would get really mad that they could have just added an extra bit of information to make it more understandable. I could rewrite the definition in a way that covered all moving parts and when it was hard. If I were to explain it to someone else I would introduce a system and then change variables, piece by piece. Building up an understanding from the bottom. Instead of just trying to cram a sentence onto material and then try to make it fit. This was so enraging I wanted to spit the teachers faces. Besides making friends there was literally no net positive for this bs. Not only that but I can't speak in ambiguous phrases. I know I'm being ambiguous and filling this with self speak. But I know someone can understand this. I also have a learning disability so I don't know if this is a symptom of that.

I can't really describe what I'm trying to say but in my best way possible.

Are you guys pure computing power, working memory, visual spacial comprehension and stuff like that. Or do you guys have some ability to identify logical flaws, quantitative reasoning and have a genuine/original understanding of economics? I'm sure most smart people have a mix of both, but can it be one sided for some individuals?

I have inattentive adhd

Learning at home on a computer with your own time and schedule can accelerate my learning way quicker than school. School is incredibly tedious and places a heavy emphasis on crystalized intelligence most of the time. I was awful at school my entire life and felt like it gave no learning benefit. It was dreadful for me to sit in class, to the point where I missed a huge portion of third grade. Math is taught procedurally vs conceptually, you don't understand concepts you follow procedures. Being around seeing faces increased cognitive load. Long days where the chemicals to focus just weren't there. Homework made school an all consuming job that restricted other types of development, I was socially delayed. 7 hours of sitting still is brutal. I would blank out and miss tidbits of information and the cognitive noise would be too much to handle. The way I would compress information would conflict with how they measured my understanding of it. I had a tendency to connect dots too quickly or not feel like I was connecting them at all, because even though I did it was the anticipated schema did not suffice. I relearned most of high school chemistry after wondering how lightning worked, in school when they taught how lightning worked I felt really dumb learning about it because it didn't make sense even though all the information was right in front me. This is a problem of the anticipated schema, at home in order for me to feel like I understood how lightning works I had to relearn(even though I never did in the first place) most of chemistry on top of plasma and some physics. Right now, I am relearning things to have a broader understanding like statistics and probability so I can use that knowledge to trade stocks, also learning about economics. I could of taken it in highschool but honestly relearning at home almost outweighs all the learning benefits school could of gave. The onlything school gave me social skills. But it still didn't completely fulfill this need. If I didn't have the constant urge to enjoy being young and play I probably would of done better at school. If I had more freetime when I was younger I probably would of enjoyed school a lot more because it would of suppressed my urges to act out. I also was a little bit of a perfectionist. My last two years of highschool were done in a school for specialized learning and I'm happy with that expierence although I missed out on a lot of large public school stuff with my friends like mischief. The only education I can see that would benefit me would be college. As material is abundant online and I'm good at self educating now so I could easily make up for gaps and enjoy the benefits of lectures.