u/Glittering_Paper580

I live in a neighborhood with about 20 houses and it’s one big circle. I live on one end and this dumbass neighbor lives on the opposite end. She walks her dog every night at around 8pm-9pm around there. Usually around this time, I am getting my toddler to bed and have not been able to confront her. Her dog wears a harness most nights, but it seems she does not put a leash on it. I don’t mind a dog running through my yard, but this dog pees on our bushes every single night and comes up on our porch, sometimes barking in the window if he sees that we are walking around inside. Our bushes have started to turn brown and in the last month there have been 10 instances where I have found him on the ring camera just walking up on my porch and then peeing on our bushes. I know I need to say something, so what should I say?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years this December. Married for 3 this September. We had our first child, a baby boy, in September of 2024. We are now expecting a baby girl in June. I have always had a pretty good relationship with my mother-in-law, but she does say some stupid things sometimes. I take things as her being passive aggressive or maybe her just being weird, but she thinks our relationship is great. It’s not that it’s all that bad, but some of her remarks really get under my skin.

Example one: When I was pregnant with my son, we had a conversation about how in my opinion first born boys usually favor their moms. This was my opinion based on my uncle looking just like my grandma, my brother looting just like my mom, and my BIL looking just like my MIL! OK anyways, all I did was share that opinion and that I was excited to see who my son would look like. She immediately goes, “I hope he looks like (my husband name) because he looks like me!” my husband is her second born, and truly favors both parents. But she has another son that is literally her twin and he is the first born. But she completely disregarded that he looks like her 🤣 I always kept that noted in my brain because like really? I just got through saying how sweet it would be if my son looked like me.

Example two: My son is born and not once does she ever say “oh he looks like you!” This boy has blonde hair and blue eyes, tall and lean, and truly looks like the boy version of me when I was little. I’ve pulled out baby pictures before and all I got was “there are definitely some similarities” 🫪🤣 she tries to say he got his blue eyes from her mother and his height from her mother as well. Even though my mom, my dad, my brother, most of my uncles and aunts, and myself, all have blue eyes. We also all had blonde hair when we were younger. My mother and brother still have blonde hair. My dad and brother are 6 foot three and 6 foot five. Yet my son got his height from only her mom. 🫪 my mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband, all have brown eyes and brown hair.

Example three: We went to the beach with my in-laws, and my son‘s hair got super super blonde from the sun. We’re headed back to the condo and my father-in-law goes “Do you think (son’s name) hair will ever turn brown?” and I go “most likely. My dad’s hair and my hair was super blonde when we were younger and then it turned brown”. MIL states “oh (my husbands name) hair was just like this when he was younger!” You should have seen my face. I was really at my wits end at that point because doesn’t it seem that every time I mention any type of characteristic my son got from me she immediately turns it into no he got that from (husbands name/her side)??? WHY DO MIL DO THIS? Not to mention she has always told me my husband‘s hair was a strawberry blonde and leaned more red. My son‘s hair is literally white after being in the sun just like how mine was when I was younger.

Example four: Now that I am pregnant with my daughter, let me give you a little history on my mother-in-law. She already has five biological grandsons, including my son. Three non-biological grandsons and two non-biological granddaughters. I mentioned the biological and non-biological because it comes into play later. Either way, she has been in these babies lives ever since their moms were pregnant. It’s not like they are 12 year-old girls that she just met a couple years ago. She has been there since before they were born. She has said multiple times that since this is her first biological granddaughter that it is so very surreal and different for her. Totally disregarding the fact that she already has two granddaughters that are ages 10 and 4. But since they’re not biological, it’s different? I mentioned this to my own parents and they think it is extremely weird and sad that she always says that when talking about my daughter. When we were at the beach, we were sitting next to an older couple and having small conversation. And my mother-in-law stated that I was pregnant with her first biological granddaughter and that it was so exciting for her and that she couldn’t believe it. The older couple looked at her and was like “why would it matter if it’s your biological or not? All babies are a blessing.” She immediately backtracked, and you could tell she felt bad that she was called out.

Example five: All right last example, mother-in-law‘s birthday is in June and I am also due in June. She has stated multiple times that she thinks my daughter will be born on her birthday and that it will be like raising her and I will have her (MIL) as a daughter. She also brings up the fact that my daughter will be so independent just like she is because they are both going to be Geminis?? 🤣 Again, totally disregarding the fact that I am her mother and that she will get traits from myself and my side of the family as well. I just hate that she’s already boxing my baby in with her and it just feels like a weird energy or alliance or something.

I know I’m being over sensitive about some of this stuff. And there are definitely worse things that in-laws can do. But I have no one to talk to about this because everyone kind of thinks it’s funny. But I feel gaslit almost. It’s like been with both pregnancies anytime I talk to her about any type of updates or being excited, It’s immediately shut down because it seems she cannot stand the fact that my babies will have any of my traits or characteristics.

I am currently 9 months pregnant and due 6/9. I am on my hubby’s insurance from his employer and have pregnancy Medicaid coverage as my secondary. My hubby just resigned from his job and his last day was 5/15, and starts a new job this coming Monday 5/18. That being said, we have a toddler and are considered a family of 4. When I go to update my case on my Tenncare app, I will put the date his employment ended and his final check 💰 No problem. Okay my question is that his check is going to be more than his normal because he had PTO payout added on it as well. So now I am nervous I will lose my coverage! Has this happened to anyone else? Will I be able to show that he was paid for his PTO along with his normal hourly wage?