u/Glittering_Solid_658

I’ve been taking Vyvanse for a little over 2 years now, it’s been great until this December where I started feeling really empty and depressed, ontop of that I live in a state of constant chronic fatigue that I can’t manage to get rid of.

Part of me doesn’t wanna accept that it could possibly be the Vyvanse, because it truly was live changing when it was working. Despite the annoying mood swing it was tolerable and i genuinely was such a happy and even became a productive person.

I’m not sure what happened these few months but I’ve done a whole 360, I feel so numb always. Nothing excites me anymore, doing things I used to love to do feels more of a chore than anything, I don’t want to socialize or even do things to treat myself.

Like everyday I feel like I chase that feeling when the Vyvanse first starts to kick in cus it’s the only time now that I feel a sense of happiness and excitement for life, but then 2 hours later I’m back to being unhappy and feeling even worse due to the come down. Idk I just been feeling so hollow and I’ve lost my friends over this, and myself. Idk if I simply just randomly became depressed or what. I truly was such a happy person and vyvanse was a life changer for me but now I truly hold no excitement for life anymore, and idk why.

*UPDATE for everyone say to get blood tested I already did back in December. I came back with very low vitamin D and on the lower side of iron. I was prescribed vitamin D pills by the doctor.

For some context I haven’t been getting good sleep since October It’s going to sound crazy but for my whole life I wanted to be famous or at least an influencer. I started live streaming on tiktok and it’s been a blessing and a curse.

At first it was great I was gaining a following, making crazy money especially for my age, social networking it seemed perfect. For months due to live streaming I’d stay up until 3-4 in the morning just on live (some nights I wouldn’t get sleep at all) and I’d have to be up by 7 AM for school.

I didn’t think much of it, I’d get out of school at 12:00 PM and would just sleep until 8 PM get on stream repeat. I Was sleeping throughout the day and awake during the night. For months it was like this. (It’s still like this I just took a break from streaming)

But these past two months my bad habits all caught up to me unfortunately. I stopped streaming due to this, I’m unmotivated always, doing one simple everyday task feels practically impossible, I haven’t seen my friends in months, im supposed to graduate next month and don’t even have all the requirements yet, I can’t go one full day without napping, im so unhappy, and always irritable.

Last year i was such a happy and motivated person…i was social, productive, took care of myself. I assumed i just randomly developed depression but now doing my research maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe it’s my sleeping habits that caused me to be so unhappy?

I think i accidentally trained my body to just get tired at 3-4 am and now I’m trying to break the cycle. I grieve who I was. I can’t even recognize myself anymore.

If you’ve gone thru something similar please let me know your experience and how you navigated this issue. I miss my old self so much, everyone around me sees I’m not like myself. I’m a literal living zombie. I’ve became so unattractive, and have no motivation for life. I’m always getting sick everything just a mess.